"C'mere, baby. I've missed you like you wouldn't believe. I hate going offworld without you. I miss holding you, missed having you at my side when I sleep."
"Major Carter, should we not turn our radios off?"
"After what happened last time? Daniel missed the last three missions! We just got him back. Not a chance. When the team's separated, they stay on. You heard the colonel's order, too."
"It's been impossible to get any alone time with you for this."
"It appears that Daniel Jackson has not obeyed O'Neill's order."
That's my baby. Come to Papa."
"Did he just say 'Papa'? No! Don't answer that. Uh, no, Daniel hasn't got his radio on, but . . . Daniel's, you know, right there, with the colonel."
"I'm so glad you're back. You look so good. Now I'm going to make you feel good, too."
"Indeed."
"This is gonna be great. Look what I brought. Yeah, thought you'd like that. I'm gonna do you like never before."
"Perhaps, Major Carter, you should advise O'Neill regarding his radio status."
"Ooh. Right there. That's the spot. I know, I gotta take better care of you; do this in the field more often."
"That's a good idea, Teal'c. You do that. Please. Please do that. What if I make it an order?"
"Look at you. All spread out like that. So beautiful, baby. And all for me."
"I believe it is your duty, Major Carter."
"Hey, guys. Dinner ready?"
"D-Daniel? What are you doing here?"
"Um, asking about dinner?"
"Are you okay? You look a little flushed."
"I'm fine. Why do you look so surprised that I'm here?"
"Major Carter and I were under the impression you were with Colonel O'Neill."
"Ah, um, I was, uh, at the latrine, actually."
"Oh. Then who's in your tent with the colonel?"
"Why do you think anyone's in there with him?"
"We were following O'Neill's orders, Daniel Jackson, leaving our radios on at all times."
"Oh. Well, you know, I was at the latrine, I thought it best to, um, turn mine off."
"The colonel seems to have turned his off, now, too . . . but if it wasn't you, then who's the colonel been talking to?"
"What did he say?"
"Well, uh, I really couldn't make out any of it. You know, radio static . . . and he was sort of talking quiet--"
"O'Neill was whispering softly and speaking with terms of endearment."
"He was, was he?"
"He said, 'Come to, Papa, baby."
"That is incorrect. O'Neill said, 'That's my baby. Come to Papa.'"
"Oh, that! Heh. It's his, um, his P-90. Yeah, his P-90. I, uh, I remember now. It, uh-- He told me it jammed a few of planets ago -- the one where I got injured -- and he had to leave it, you know, leave it on base to-to have it . . . repaired. Fixed. That's what it was. Yeah. In fact, he just got it back in time for this mission. Oh, and he's got some new . . . new . . . what do you call it . . ? Gun oil! That's it. He's all excited about it and he wanted to try it out to keep it -- the jamming thing -- from happening again."
"Oh, well. That makes so much sense! You wouldn't believe what it was we thought we heard."
"Indeed."
"Yeah. I probably would. So, uh, when's dinner?"
"Sorry, Daniel; we were kind of distracted. About half an hour or so?"
"That's fine. I'll let Jack know so he can finish-- Damn. I left my journal at the latrine. Okay, see you guys in thirty."
"Okay, Daniel."
"I will assist Major Carter."
"I can't believe we jumped to such a ridiculous conclusion."
"It is understandable. However, I was unaware of O'Neill having any difficulty with his weapon on that, or any other, mission."
"That's not like him. But it wasn't in his mission report, either."
"He also made no mention of a weapons mishap at any briefing."
"Right. And I'll just bet Daniel's headed right back to get his journal. . . ."
"Perhaps we should begin the meal preparation."
"Yeah. At least he's turned off his radio."
"Indeed."
~~
"Jack?"
"Hey, Daniel. Where ya been?"
"Latrine; getting my ass ready for you. I've been waiting weeks for this, Jack. I'm so horny I can barely string two words together."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
branchandroot
Who's Your Baby?
Date: Jan. 12th, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC)"Major Carter, should we not turn our radios off?"
"After what happened last time? Daniel missed the last three missions! We just got him back. Not a chance. When the team's separated, they stay on. You heard the colonel's order, too."
"It's been impossible to get any alone time with you for this."
"It appears that Daniel Jackson has not obeyed O'Neill's order."
That's my baby. Come to Papa."
"Did he just say 'Papa'? No! Don't answer that. Uh, no, Daniel hasn't got his radio on, but . . . Daniel's, you know, right there, with the colonel."
"I'm so glad you're back. You look so good. Now I'm going to make you feel good, too."
"Indeed."
"This is gonna be great. Look what I brought. Yeah, thought you'd like that. I'm gonna do you like never before."
"So, Teal'c . . . uh, nice campfire you've got going there."
"I'm going to slick you up so good, baby."
"Perhaps, Major Carter, you should advise O'Neill regarding his radio status."
"Ooh. Right there. That's the spot. I know, I gotta take better care of you; do this in the field more often."
"That's a good idea, Teal'c. You do that. Please. Please do that. What if I make it an order?"
"Look at you. All spread out like that. So beautiful, baby. And all for me."
"I believe it is your duty, Major Carter."
"Hey, guys. Dinner ready?"
"D-Daniel? What are you doing here?"
"Um, asking about dinner?"
"Are you okay? You look a little flushed."
"I'm fine. Why do you look so surprised that I'm here?"
"Major Carter and I were under the impression you were with Colonel O'Neill."
"Ah, um, I was, uh, at the latrine, actually."
"Oh. Then who's in your tent with the colonel?"
"Why do you think anyone's in there with him?"
"We were following O'Neill's orders, Daniel Jackson, leaving our radios on at all times."
"Oh. Well, you know, I was at the latrine, I thought it best to, um, turn mine off."
"The colonel seems to have turned his off, now, too . . . but if it wasn't you, then who's the colonel been talking to?"
"What did he say?"
"Well, uh, I really couldn't make out any of it. You know, radio static . . . and he was sort of talking quiet--"
"O'Neill was whispering softly and speaking with terms of endearment."
"He was, was he?"
"He said, 'Come to, Papa, baby."
"That is incorrect. O'Neill said, 'That's my baby. Come to Papa.'"
"Oh, that! Heh. It's his, um, his P-90. Yeah, his P-90. I, uh, I remember now. It, uh-- He told me it jammed a few of planets ago -- the one where I got injured -- and he had to leave it, you know, leave it on base to-to have it . . . repaired. Fixed. That's what it was. Yeah. In fact, he just got it back in time for this mission. Oh, and he's got some new . . . new . . . what do you call it . . ? Gun oil! That's it. He's all excited about it and he wanted to try it out to keep it -- the jamming thing -- from happening again."
"Oh, well. That makes so much sense! You wouldn't believe what it was we thought we heard."
"Indeed."
"Yeah. I probably would. So, uh, when's dinner?"
"Sorry, Daniel; we were kind of distracted. About half an hour or so?"
"That's fine. I'll let Jack know so he can finish-- Damn. I left my journal at the latrine. Okay, see you guys in thirty."
"Okay, Daniel."
"I will assist Major Carter."
"I can't believe we jumped to such a ridiculous conclusion."
"It is understandable. However, I was unaware of O'Neill having any difficulty with his weapon on that, or any other, mission."
"That's not like him. But it wasn't in his mission report, either."
"He also made no mention of a weapons mishap at any briefing."
"Right. And I'll just bet Daniel's headed right back to get his journal. . . ."
"Perhaps we should begin the meal preparation."
"Yeah. At least he's turned off his radio."
"Indeed."
~~
"Jack?"
"Hey, Daniel. Where ya been?"
"Latrine; getting my ass ready for you. I've been waiting weeks for this, Jack. I'm so horny I can barely string two words together."
"Yeah, Daniel. That's my baby. Come to Papa."
"And Jack?"
"Hmm?"
"Put the gun away, first."