575 PG-13 words of J/D foolishness
Jun. 22nd, 2011 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidI wrote this recently for a ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
getyourwordsout cliche challenge.
With urging from thefic_rush freaks folks, I determined that merely using one cliche simply wasn't going to cut it. Hence:
Stranded Genderbend Bodyswap
"Oh, let me guess, Jack. This is all my fault, too?”
“In case you hadn’t noticed.”
“All I did was dial the gate.”
“And look where that’s gotten us.”
“You told me to dial the gate!”
“Earth. I wanted you to dial Earth.”
“And I did.”
“Well, maybe your tiny, delicate hands hit the wrong symbols or something.”
“Your tiny, delicate hands, you mean.”
“You are really pissing me off, Doctor Jackson.”
“And you’re being a little bitchy.”
“Bitchy?”
“You have a better word for it? You’ve done nothing but snap at me since….”
“Since you touched that damn vase or whatever it was!”
“Urn.”
“Bite me.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
They both sulked in silence for a while.
“I’m willing to apologize for touching the urn, if you’ll accept that I did not dial the wrong gate address.”
Jack growled.
“Gates do strange things sometimes.”
“Or maybe you’re just on a roll.”
Daniel sighed. “We’ve shut the DHD down and now we just have to wait for it to reboot.”
Jack kicked at a pebble. “How long does that take?”
Daniel scrunched his nose, paused to absorb, once again, the fact that he wasn’t wearing any glasses, and answered, “I don’t actually remember what Sam told us.”
“But you actually remember that you did it right?”
“Hey, you had the same lessons I did!” Daniel pointed a finger at Jack.
“Don’t… point my finger at me… missy.”
Daniel couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. “’Missy’?”
Jack exhaled loudly and shrugged.
“Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re really screwed, aren’t we?”
Jack didn’t answer.
“I mean, I keep thinking of your old classic ‘what do we have, what do we need’ bit.”
“It’s not a bit, Daniel.”
Daniel tilted his head. “Not even a little bit?”
“Shut up.”
“No, come on, Jack. What do we have?”
“We have girly bits, Daniel. And I need a dick and a pair of balls.”
“If you had them, they’d be mine.”
“I’m not listening to you,” Jack said, glaring.
“We need a working DHD. Hopefully that’s pending.”
“Hopefully.” Jack sounded anything but optimistic.
Daniel pressed onwards. “We need our own bodies back.”
“With dicks. And balls.”
“Our own, you in yours, me in mine, totally masculine bodies.”
“Please.”
“We have the urn.”
“And there it sits, doing squat.”
“Well, anyway, we have it. To examine when we get home or take back to PX4-212.”
“Or we could rub it and see if a genie appears.”
“I’m holding that back as an option.”
They looked at each other.
“Seriously?”
“Need, have?” Daniel prompted.
“Need to try the DHD again?”
Daniel stood up and walked over to the DHD. It still wasn’t working.
“Need a fucking DHD. Need not to need glasses. Need much less in the boob department.”
Daniel sat down. “They’re pretty spectacular boobs,” he said mildly.
“You do realize, I hope, that you just complimented your own boobs.”
Daniel shrugged. “They look good on you. What can I say?” He smiled, licked his lips and looked away.
After a long pause, Jack cleared his throat. “How long until we try the DHD again?”
Daniel licked his lips, smiled, and looked back. “How long did you have in mind?” He shifted closer and fluttered his eyelashes.
“I don’t know.” Jack’s eyelashes fluttered in return. “Women tend to take longer, as I understand it.”
Daniel laughed a little wildly and reached out for him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly in no hurry!”
getyourwordsout cliche challenge.With urging from the
fic_rush Stranded Genderbend Bodyswap
"Oh, let me guess, Jack. This is all my fault, too?”
“In case you hadn’t noticed.”
“All I did was dial the gate.”
“And look where that’s gotten us.”
“You told me to dial the gate!”
“Earth. I wanted you to dial Earth.”
“And I did.”
“Well, maybe your tiny, delicate hands hit the wrong symbols or something.”
“Your tiny, delicate hands, you mean.”
“You are really pissing me off, Doctor Jackson.”
“And you’re being a little bitchy.”
“Bitchy?”
“You have a better word for it? You’ve done nothing but snap at me since….”
“Since you touched that damn vase or whatever it was!”
“Urn.”
“Bite me.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
They both sulked in silence for a while.
“I’m willing to apologize for touching the urn, if you’ll accept that I did not dial the wrong gate address.”
Jack growled.
“Gates do strange things sometimes.”
“Or maybe you’re just on a roll.”
Daniel sighed. “We’ve shut the DHD down and now we just have to wait for it to reboot.”
Jack kicked at a pebble. “How long does that take?”
Daniel scrunched his nose, paused to absorb, once again, the fact that he wasn’t wearing any glasses, and answered, “I don’t actually remember what Sam told us.”
“But you actually remember that you did it right?”
“Hey, you had the same lessons I did!” Daniel pointed a finger at Jack.
“Don’t… point my finger at me… missy.”
Daniel couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. “’Missy’?”
Jack exhaled loudly and shrugged.
“Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re really screwed, aren’t we?”
Jack didn’t answer.
“I mean, I keep thinking of your old classic ‘what do we have, what do we need’ bit.”
“It’s not a bit, Daniel.”
Daniel tilted his head. “Not even a little bit?”
“Shut up.”
“No, come on, Jack. What do we have?”
“We have girly bits, Daniel. And I need a dick and a pair of balls.”
“If you had them, they’d be mine.”
“I’m not listening to you,” Jack said, glaring.
“We need a working DHD. Hopefully that’s pending.”
“Hopefully.” Jack sounded anything but optimistic.
Daniel pressed onwards. “We need our own bodies back.”
“With dicks. And balls.”
“Our own, you in yours, me in mine, totally masculine bodies.”
“Please.”
“We have the urn.”
“And there it sits, doing squat.”
“Well, anyway, we have it. To examine when we get home or take back to PX4-212.”
“Or we could rub it and see if a genie appears.”
“I’m holding that back as an option.”
They looked at each other.
“Seriously?”
“Need, have?” Daniel prompted.
“Need to try the DHD again?”
Daniel stood up and walked over to the DHD. It still wasn’t working.
“Need a fucking DHD. Need not to need glasses. Need much less in the boob department.”
Daniel sat down. “They’re pretty spectacular boobs,” he said mildly.
“You do realize, I hope, that you just complimented your own boobs.”
Daniel shrugged. “They look good on you. What can I say?” He smiled, licked his lips and looked away.
After a long pause, Jack cleared his throat. “How long until we try the DHD again?”
Daniel licked his lips, smiled, and looked back. “How long did you have in mind?” He shifted closer and fluttered his eyelashes.
“I don’t know.” Jack’s eyelashes fluttered in return. “Women tend to take longer, as I understand it.”
Daniel laughed a little wildly and reached out for him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly in no hurry!”