"If You Really Loved Me", Part 3 of 3, written April-May 2005, PG-13

[sid]

Header and Part One

Part Two 

In this chapter, Daniel plays detective, and Jack plays a waiting game.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME – Part Three

 

Jack was working in the kitchen when his cell phone rang. He took a quick look at the caller ID before flipping the phone open. “Daniel?”

 

“Jack, yes. Hi.”

 

“Hi,” Jack responded with a smile. “Wrapping things up there?”

 

“Yes, I’m just about ready to leave,” Daniel replied.

 

The two men’s voices overlapped. “So you’ll/I’ll be home in about half an hour.”

 

“What/what?”

 

“You talk,” Jack said.

 

“I just said I’ll be home in half an hour.”

 

Home. Jack felt a warm glow. “And your steak will be hitting the plate in 35 minutes.”

 

“Good. Great. See you then.”

 

“See ya,” Jack said, and flipped his phone closed. He was smiling as he resumed his task.

 

~~~~

 

Daniel cut off another piece of steak hungrily. It was a little more well-done than he normally preferred, but it was seasoned wonderfully and was really hitting the spot. The accompanying vegetables were excellent, and Jack had even purchased a bottle of Merlot which was just perfect for the meal. He could eat like this every night. He chewed more slowly. Well, if he didn’t care about his arteries, that is.

 

As he and Jack idly conversed, Daniel found himself watching his friend’s mouth as the other man spoke. He felt more than a little guilty about working on his lip-reading skills without Jack’s knowledge. But he was determined to examine the security camera footage of the incident in the control room again tonight, and examining Jack’s speech patterns visually like this could only help.

 

“Have I got something on my face?”

 

“What?” Daniel asked, startled out of his thoughts.

 

Jack wiped at the side of his mouth with his napkin. ‘Have I got food on my face? You were staring at me.”

 

“No,” Daniel answered, feeling himself flushing. “No, I’m sorry. My mind was wandering.”

 

“To?”

 

“What?”

 

Jack smiled and cut off a bite of steak. “What was it that your mind was thinking about?”

 

“Oh.” Daniel reached for his wine glass and took a sip. “Just some work that I brought home with me.”

 

“Oh,” Jack said flatly. “I didn’t realize….I thought we’d watch a movie, maybe, or something.”

 

Daniel felt absolutely horrible. “We can do that. It’ll keep.”

 

“Really?” Jack questioned, looking much happier. “I rented a few DVDs, but we don’t have to watch anything.”

 

“Show me,” Daniel invited. 

 

~~~

 

They were nearing the end of the movie that Daniel had selected. Jack glanced sideways at his friend, and smiled. Daniel was totally into it. Jack slouched a little further down into the sofa cushions. This had been a good idea. Daniel had been tense ever since the incident in the control room, and this was a nice break for them both.

 

As he watched the action on the TV screen, Jack remembered how Daniel had watched him at the dinner table. He had a pretty good idea what that was all about. At least he hoped. His eyes gleamed with suppressed excitement.

 

~~~

 

Daniel was in the guest room, his laptop in front of him and a small mirror from the dresser close by. He had excused himself as soon as the movie had ended. About half an hour later he had heard Jack go into his own bedroom. He was still feeling very guilty about working on deciphering this video while Jack was sleeping only a few feet away. It felt like a violation of the other man’s hospitality in some way, but Daniel was unable to help himself. Jack had given him several clues when they had watched the footage together earlier in Daniel’s office at the Mountain. Now Daniel was trying to piece things together, and he was making progress.

 

But he felt like seven kinds of fool in the process. He was using the mirror to watch himself saying the things that he thought he had deciphered on the video. Thanks to Jack, he knew some of the words that had been spoken, and he was working at filling in the blanks, constructing complete sentences. It was the sort of thing that he did in his job every day, but he was used to working with a written text. Now he had to watch his own lips move and compare them to his and Jack’s mouths moving in the video. It felt bizarre.

 

He was suddenly startled by a soft tap on the door. He quickly minimized the player and closed his notebook before calling, “Come in.”

 

The door opened and Jack poked his head in. “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were awake. Still at it?”

 

Daniel was very nearly overwhelmed by the sensation of guilt he was feeling. “Umm, yeah. Uh, I thought you were asleep?”

 

“I was reading,” Jack answered, taking a step into the room. He smiled at Daniel’s expression. “Didn’t think I had it in me, did ya?” Daniel bit his lip and looked down. “Anyway, I’m getting ready to hit it, and I just thought that maybe we should leave our doors open? You know, after last night and all.”

 

“Oh,” Daniel said, surprised. He flushed slightly as he remembered how his nightmare had led him to spend the rest of the night in Jack’s bed. He firmly suppressed the memory of how pleasant it had been to awaken in Jack’s arms. “Yes, that’s fine.” He shrugged. “Probably a good idea,” he admitted.

 

Jack nodded at his friend. “Gonna work much longer?” Daniel looked at his laptop and frowned. “Whatever it is, it’ll keep, right? You should get some sleep,” Jack prodded.

 

Daniel hesitated for a second, and then began powering down the computer. “You’re right. It’ll keep.” He yawned hugely. “And I’m tired.”

 

“See ya in the morning, Danny. Sleep well,” Jack told his friend.

 

“Goodnight, Jack,” Daniel answered with a peaceful smile. Jack left the room, leaving the door open behind him. Daniel rose from his chair, stretching. Then he saw the mirror standing next to his now-closed laptop. He grimaced, wondering if Jack had seen it. What could he have thought?

 

~~~

 

Jack slid underneath the covers of his bed and reached to turn off the bedside lamp. He laid on his back and stared sleepily up towards the ceiling. He had seen the mirror next to the laptop, and he knew exactly what Daniel was doing with it. There just couldn’t be any other explanation. There was a wistful expression on his face. He had done all that he could, really. The rest was up to Daniel.

 

~~~

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this.

 

Daniel was almost awake. He thought for a moment that Jack was in the room with him. He could still hear his voice.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel sat up slowly. Was it just a dream? Or could it be a memory? Or maybe just his subconscious mind working away at a problem while he slept. He switched on the bedside lamp and blinked in pain at the flood of light. He got up and went over to his laptop.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel knew this video footage by heart now. It took only a second to reach the right point in the playback. He zoomed in on Jack’s face, focusing his gaze on Jack’s mouth.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel’s jaw dropped open. He watched one more time. Then he looked at himself in the mirror and repeated the words, comparing the movement of his mouth to Jack’s mouth on the monitor. He swallowed hard. That was it. He had solved the puzzle. That was what Jack had said to him right before Daniel laid down his weapon and passed out at the other man’s feet.

 

He powered down the laptop and pushed the mirror away roughly. He couldn’t bear to look at either one any more. He saw two things immediately; one that he now understood, and one that he wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.

 

He now understood why he had been so obsessed with worrying about Jack. Each time he woke up he had been filled with concern for Jack. But that was just his conscious mind’s translation of what he had been worried about subconsciously. Jack’s reaction. All this time, Daniel’s subconscious mind had been panicking over what Jack must think of him now.

 

The second thing that Daniel saw was that Jack had kept from him the truth about what had happened. Why? He felt slightly sick just thinking of a few of the possible reasons. He stood up and started to pace around the room. After a minute or two he came to a sudden standstill. He had realized that Jack’s actions of the last few days in no way fitted the ugly picture that he was painting for himself.

 

He sank down on the side of the bed. Jack had kept things from him, maybe even lied to him. But his behavior had been nothing if not friendly. It didn’t make sense. He remembered waking up in the infirmary, Jack’s gentle assurances that everything was all right. And later… He felt his heartbeat quicken. Later, Jack may have been keeping things from him when Daniel asked what had happened, but he remembered his friend’s smile. Jack had said that he felt ‘lucky’. Very lucky.

 

Jack had taken Daniel home with him, fed him, even taken him into his bed when he had a nightmare. Those certainly were not the actions of a man who was in any way concerned about or repulsed by any feelings that might have been revealed in the control room. Maybe he had simply hoped that Daniel would never remember? Daniel clutched his head. Did that fit? He stood up abruptly and began to pace again. His footsteps led him to the open doorway. He hesitated. He looked back at the alarm clock. It was 4:42 in the morning.

 

Daniel squared his shoulders and stepped into the hallway. He was up. Jack should be up, too. He needed answers.

 

~~~

 

Jack awoke with a start when the overhead light in his bedroom came on. Daniel was crossing the floor, coming to a stop next to the bed. “I need to talk to you.”

 

Jack squinted at the clock. “Now?” he complained. Then he suddenly remembered what was going on. “Sure,” he said in a more friendly tone, sitting up. “Just give me a second to wake up a little bit.” Daniel nodded jerkily, and turned away, pacing to the door and back. As he watched his friend, Jack could see the tight rein that Daniel was keeping on his emotions. “What’d you want to talk about?” Jack asked, trying to present a calm demeanor.

 

“’If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this‘,” Daniel blurted out. Jack felt a rush of joy. Daniel had figured it out. Or remembered. He searched his friend’s face, and his happiness faded. Daniel didn’t look happy at all. “Why didn’t you tell me, Jack? I had a right to know.”

 

Jack pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed to face the other man. “I made the decision not to tell you.”

 

Daniel’s mouth thinned. He looked down at the floor. “Why?”

 

Jack looked at his friend seriously. “You were very much under the influence of that alien device in your head at the time.” Daniel raised his head, and met Jack’s eyes. “I told you that I thought you seemed like you were high, or something.” Daniel nodded. Jack nodded back. “It was obviously messing with your inhibitions. I mean, never in anything approaching your right mind would you let me know that you had always wanted to say, ‘Chevron One, encoded’, right?”

 

Daniel grimaced. “That’s true.”

 

“Right,” Jack pressed eagerly. “And,” he shrugged, “you’re entitled to your inhibitions. Everyone is. And whether your normal inhibitions had kept you from… realizing certain feelings, or just from sharing them….well, either way I didn’t feel that it was my place to interfere.”

 

“Telling me the truth would have been interfering?” Daniel bit out.

 

“I couldn’t be the one to put the idea in your head,” Jack sighed. “I just couldn’t see any good outcome to that scenario.”

 

Daniel blinked at him a few times. “What do you mean?”

 

Jack suddenly found his bedroom carpet fascinating. “Well, are feelings really real if someone tells you that you have them, rather than you figuring it out for yourself? How could either of us ever be sure?” Daniel’s jaw dropped slightly. Jack glanced up at him, and Daniel tried to school his features. “You might resent me telling you, you might want to deny the whole thing. Hell, I couldn’t even be sure that they ever were real feelings. Coulda been some weird-ass side effect of that microchip.”

 

“You wanted them to be real feelings,” Daniel realized, dumbstruck.

 

“Yeah,” Jack admitted uncomfortably.

 

Daniel stared at him. “Why? Do you….?” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

 

“Yeah, I do,” Jack said quietly. “For a long time now.”

 

“A long…” Daniel looked like he was going into shock. “How long?”

 

“Practically since you came back from Abydos,” Jack confessed.

 

Daniel’s eyes widened. “That’s, that’s seven years!”

 

Jack shrugged. “I was trying to comfort a man, one who was becoming a friend, whose wife had been taken from him.” His eyes were fixed intently on Daniel’s bare feet. “And all the time, I was…” He gestured with one hand.

 

“You were what?” Daniel could feel himself holding his breath, waiting for the answer.

 

“You know. Falling.” Jack managed to choke the word out somehow, and peered up at Daniel cautiously.

 

“I need to sit down,” Daniel said in a voice that sounded very far-away to his own ears. Jack was beside him in a second, taking his arm and hurrying him to the bed. The two men sat down side-by-side and Jack took Daniel’s hand in his, feeling for his pulse. Daniel’s wide eyes stared at Jack’s fingers resting on the inside of his wrist. “I’m okay,” he said in mild protest, but he made no effort to pull away.

 

“How do you feel?” Jack asked anxiously.

 

Daniel met Jack’s eyes and felt another faint wave of dizziness. He couldn’t tear his gaze away. “I haven’t had time to think about that yet,” he answered.

 

Jack blinked. “Okay, not what I was asking, exactly, but we can go with that if you want to.”

 

Daniel was still staring into Jack’s concerned eyes. “I spent too much time wondering why you hadn’t told me.”

 

“Now you know.”

 

“Yeah, now I know. Oh, and I figured out why I was so worried about you, you know, every time I woke up.”

 

Jack glanced down to where Daniel’s fingers were curling around his hand. “Did you? Because that really had me stumped.” Jack slid his fingers off of Daniel’s wrist, until their two hands were loosely clasped. He looked back up to meet his friend’s eyes.

 

“I was really worried deep down about what you must think of me. But all I knew when I woke up was that I was frantic, and that it had something to do with you.”

 

Jack cleared his throat. “You’ve wasted a lot of time worrying.”

 

“I can see that now,” Daniel said softly. Jack’s thumb stroked Daniel’s wrist gently.

 

“So, do you want to take some time now, to think about how you feel?” Daniel gave a tiny shake of his head. Jack could feel his own pulse starting to race. He examined Daniel’s face carefully, noting the flush on his cheeks, the parting of his lips. He looked into Daniel’s eyes. Poor guy still looked stunned. It was a good look on him. Jack felt his desire growing. 

 

Jack leaned closer, eyes focused on the other man’s mouth. Daniel gasped, and Jack zeroed in on his target. He kissed him. They were kissing. Daniel’s grip on Jack’s hand tightened and Jack squeezed back eagerly. He deliberately kept the kiss chaste, sensing that Daniel was more frightened than excited at this point. When he finally lifted his head and pulled away from the other man, Daniel’s face was very flushed, and his dazed eyes seemed to be a deeper blue than normal. “You okay?” Jack whispered.

 

Daniel nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Jack’s mouth. The sensation of those lips pressed against his was one that he missed already. “Are you going to do that again?” he asked hopefully.

 

“Nope.” The thin, mobile lips parted in a grin. Daniel looked up at Jack in confusion.

 

What he saw in Jack’s eyes reassured him. “Oh, it must be my turn, then?” The delight on his friend’s face filled him with satisfaction. He reached out for Jack, pulling him into his arms. He knew how to kiss. He was good at it. He could do this. He claimed Jack’s mouth with confidence.

 

Jack was experiencing some new sensations. He was in Daniel’s arms. Daniel was pressing him close, kissing him with intensity. Jack moaned, and felt his friend’s hand stroke up and down his back soothingly. Jack was melting. He felt the tip of Daniel’s tongue touching his mouth inquisitively. He parted his lips and Daniel accepted his invitation, thrusting in deep. Jack moaned again. Damn, Daniel was good at this!

 

Jack got swept up in the excitement of the moment and pushed Daniel over onto his back, following him down to the mattress, never losing contact with that sweet, talented mouth. Jack was half sprawled atop Daniel, his growing erection pressing into the other man’s thigh. He growled into Daniel’s mouth, feasting on the taste that was filling his senses. And then he realized that Daniel was no longer participating.

 

Daniel had found himself unprepared for the sensation of Jack’s weight atop his body. He was having trouble breathing. He unwrapped his arms from around Jack’s body and clutched at his shoulders. He didn’t want to push him away, it was just…

 

Jack lifted his head. “Too much?” he worried. Daniel nodded breathlessly. Jack sat up quickly. “Sorry,” he grimaced.

 

“No, I’m sorry,” Daniel said, looking adorably flustered. “I guess maybe I do need a little more time to think about this. You know, give it some time to sink in.”

 

“Sure,” Jack smiled down at him gently. “After all, I’ve had years to think about how I feel, and a few days now to think about what you might be feeling. I don’t want you to feel rushed.” Daniel blinked up at him. “We just need to slow things down, right?” Daniel opened his mouth, and yawned hugely. “Yeah, we should maybe just slow things down,” Jack teased, while Daniel looked suitably sheepish. Jack stood up and began tugging at the bedclothes. “Get under the covers.”

 

Daniel slid under the covers and moved over to make room for Jack. He remembered doing the same thing the previous night, but what a difference a day could make! His entire body felt as though it were glowing. Jack crossed the room to turn off the overheard light, and then climbed into the bed. As Jack laid down beside him, Daniel turned to him and said, “I don’t need to look for the warm spot tonight.” 

 

For some reason, Jack found that to be one of the most romantic things he had ever heard. He drew closer. “I’ll be yours, if you’ll be mine,” he growled. Daniel nodded happily, and Jack kissed him, hard. When he broke the kiss, Jack scooted down until he could lay his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack. He remembered how good he had felt that morning, waking up in Jack’s arms. Falling asleep with Jack in his arms promised to feel even better. His grip tightened convulsively.

 

“Hey!” Jack protested mildly.

 

“Sorry,” Daniel said. “I was just thinking. I mean, it’s been less than 24 hours since I woke up in this room, and…everything’s changed. It’s kind of overwhelming.”

 

“You learned a new language, for one thing,” Jack chuckled.

 

“What?” Daniel said, puzzled.

 

“Lip-reading?” Jack suggested.

 

“Oh, that’s more like a skill than a language,” Daniel replied. 

 

“You’re the expert,” Jack shrugged, sliding his hand up underneath Daniel’s T-shirt. He felt his friend quiver at his touch. “Too much?” Jack questioned gently, stilling his hand with an effort.

 

“No,” Daniel replied, exhaling gustily. “Or, at least, only in the ‘too good to be true’ sense.” He stroked a tentative hand through Jack’s hair, which produced an audible response from the other man. “Did you just purr?” he laughed. Jack scratched gently at Daniel’s stomach. “Ahhh, okay, you have claws, too. Got it.”

 

“You think this is all too good to be true?” Jack asked, an idea forming in his devious mind.

 

Daniel’s hand stroked Jack’s head again. “Kind of,” he admitted.

 

Jack pushed Daniel’s T-shirt up and out of the way, and began to move his forefinger in deliberate patterns on Daniel’s skin. Daniel grew still beneath his touch. Jack smiled. He could practically hear Daniel’s brain engaging.

 

Daniel felt a wave of delight. “Are you trying to teach me another new language, Jack?” he questioned.

 

“More of a skill than a language,” Jack answered. “Are you getting my message?”

 

Daniel whispered, “Tell me again.”

 

Jack slowly traced his message, letter by letter, on Daniel’s smooth skin. I T ‘ S   T R U E.

 

Daniel didn’t think it was possible to be any happier. “It’s really true,” he sighed.

 

Jack tugged Daniel’s T-shirt back into place and relaxed into his friend’s embrace, insufferably pleased with himself. Daniel stroked his hair again, and Jack didn’t even try to hold back his purr of contentment. He closed his eyes and began to drift towards sleep.

 

“Jack,” Daniel said quietly.

 

“Daniel?”

 

Pause. “When we wake up?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Long pause. “Yes.”

 

Jack felt a slow shiver of excitement running down the length of his spine. “Sweet,” he breathed. 

 

THE END

And here is the quote from janedavitt that sent me running to find this story:  "I have A Thing about 'we love each other' followed seconds later by boinkage. It's an intermittent thing; sometimes I embrace it but sometimes I like to think there'd be a pause and the idea of them slowly working up to actual sex over days, even weeks, is kind of yummy..."

Does overnight count?  *g*
~~~~

Sequel: sid.dreamwidth.org/298224.html