'Believe It or Not', J/D, PG

[sid]

Okay, this is not what I needed to be doing this afternoon.  But I couldn't help myself.  *g*

~660 words, PG, Jack and Daniel from an new recruit's POV.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Lieutenant Karen Lehman, the newest member of SG-14, had been in the wrong place at the right time. That was how she found herself tied up in a tent alongside Colonel O’Neill and Dr. Jackson of the famous SG-1, awaiting release, or rescue if negotiations failed.

 

“This is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Daniel,” O’Neill griped.

 

“I’m sorry. I thought I was pronouncing the word correctly. It’s just bad luck anyway, that it turned out to mean something really, really offensive the way I said it.”

 

“Bad luck, yes. Follows you around a little bit, doesn’t it?”

 

“Not always.” Dr. Jackson smiled at Karen in a reassuring manner.

 

“A little too often, if you ask me.”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

Karen wished she were anyplace else. There was a glint in the colonel’s eye that suggested that Dr. Jackson was going to catch it when O’Neill’s hands were free. Or possibly he’d wait until there were no witnesses.

 

“So, Lehman, is it?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Karen’s spine automatically straightened.

 

“How are you getting along, Lehman? Enjoying the Stargate program?”

 

“Yes, sir. Very much, sir.” WTF, sir?

“Yes, well, that would probably be because you don’t have to work every day with a genius who doesn’t know which syl-LAH-ble…”

 

 “Jack.” One quiet word and the colonel subsided. “Anyway,” Dr. Jackson continued brightly, “you can’t say that this is as bad as what happened on P2Y-443.”

 

“I can’t?”

 

“Nope.” Dr. Jackson grinned at Karen. “Wait for it.”

 

“P2…?”

 

“Where the tribal chief, Neratsa, performed that lovely ceremony?”

 

“Oy,” O’Neill grimaced.

 

“I’m hurt, Jack, that you look back on our wedding day with so much distaste.” The two men exchanged a look that a wide-eyed Karen couldn’t quite decipher, before Dr. Jackson turned to her and added, “I had to keep promising him that it wasn’t legally binding in Colorado.”

 

O’Neill sniffed. “Just one more, of many I might add, stellar examples of why you are such a pain in the neck to have around.”

 

Dr, Jackson leaned towards Karen and said in a confiding tone, “Jack secretly wants me off his team, but he’d never actually say so.”

 

“I would. And I do. You’re just not around.”

 

“I’m here right now. Captive audience.”

 

“Not funny, Daniel.”

 

“Is too.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“Is too.”

 

“Not! Lehman?”

 

Karen closed her dropped jaw quickly. “Sir?” Sweat began to prickle underneath her arms.

 

“You looked like you had something you wanted to say.” The colonel cocked his head and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

 

The ‘no sir’ that was trembling on her lips died as a curious blue gaze pinned her in place. Karen swallowed. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

 

“That depends,” O’Neill said. “Daniel, is that an oxymoron if your hands are tied behind your back?”

 

Dr. Jackson ignored the colonel. “You have a question?”

 

“I guess I can’t help wondering if you two really have saved the planet more times than anyone seems to be able to keep track of,” Karen said, smiling politely and a bit nervously.

 

“Yep, that’s us,” Dr. Jackson said with a big grin. “Well, kind of.”

 

“Sort of. Mostly it’s Teal’c. Mostly.”

 

“Well, there was that one time…” Dr. Jackson began.

 

“Ah! Daniel.” O’Neill turned to Karen. “I keep trying to tell him, one time doesn’t count.”

 

“Actually, Jack, I do remember you telling me that,” Dr. Jackson murmured, looking at the colonel over the tops of his glasses.

 

O’Neill froze for a second, and then said, “So, anyway. Mostly Teal’c. The big guy.” Dr. Jackson gave a soft snort and Karen could have sworn that the colonel was blushing.

 

“Mostly,” Dr. Jackson concurred, smirking.

 

Karen nodded her head sagely and thought to herself, oh my God, everything I’ve heard is true.

The flap of the tent rose abruptly and Major Carter’s head appeared. “The negotiations are going nicely, sir. We should have you all out soon.”

 

“We’re fine, thank you,” Dr. Jackson and Colonel O’Neill said in perfect unison.

All true.  Every word.