'Affirmation', John/Rodney, R, episode tag

[sid]

This is a tag to Common Ground (the one where we learn that the Wraith can give back what they take away), 1035 words, rated R.

Summary:  There's simply no way Sheppard came through that experience unscathed.

Thank you to zats_clear for her alpha/beta assistance.  :-)

AFFIRMATION

Of course John said he was all right. Repeatedly. But they’d all seen what Kolya’s pet Wraith had done to him, and they weren’t buying it. Even after Beckett reluctantly gave him a clean bill of health they were all still hovering around him anxiously.

Rodney stayed a cautious two steps back from the others, because John increasingly had the look of a man who was about to scream. At his friends. For caring. Was he the only one who could see that?

Time to break this party up. “Well, I’d better get back to my lab. There’re a couple of experiments I’ve been neglecting…” Possibly he could have phrased that better, if the glares coming in his direction were anything to go by. “In a good cause,” he added hastily. “Glad you’re back.”

John had the tiniest of smiles on his face, although his eyes didn’t show any amusement. “Thank you, Rodney.”

Rodney forced his lips into something that might come across as a smile, and left quickly, heading for his quarters. He really did intend to go to his lab, where there really were important experiments languishing for his attention. But first a much-needed shower, to wash away the sweat from hours of fear and horror.

~~~~

Much later, when John opened his door, he still looked like a man who was about to scream. “What part of ‘Do Not Disturb’ don’t you get?”

“Huh?” Rodney said intelligently, making a show of looking for a sign that he’d somehow missed.

“I said I wanted to have some time to myself,” John growled. But he stepped back and let Rodney into the room all the same.

“When did you say that, hmm? After I left?”

“I told Elizabeth to pass the word.” John sat down on the foot of his bed, and Rodney immediately got the eerie impression that he’d been sitting that exact way for hours.

“Huh. Guess my comm link must be down.” Rodney tapped his ear bud while frowning suspiciously.

“You’re full of it, McKay.”

Rodney crossed in front of John and sat down beside him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Rodney looked around the room for inspiration, and found none. He cleared his throat and offered lamely, “So, today sucked, huh?”

John gaped in disbelief. “Great choice of words, McKay!”

“Oh, shit! Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Why am I not surprised?” John closed his eyes and shook his head.

“What?” Rodney sat a little straighter.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

”I’m talking about that, that thing you do, where you think you’re being such a great friend and you can make everything better somehow, but you just don’t have a clue, do you?”

“Oh, well, at least I try!” Rodney said huffily. “My heart’s in the right place.”

“And now it’s all about you.”

“What?” Rodney squeaked.  “Listen, Colonel, I didn’t come here to be insulted!  I’ve had a bad day, too, you know.”  John stared at him. “Well, not like yours, of course.  I didn't mean...."

“So, not quite as bad as mine?” John sneered.

“It was still pretty horrific on this end, you know,” Rodney snapped. Recovering a bit, he added quickly, “Elizabeth was very upset.”

John’s narrow-eyed glare turned into a bemused blink. “Elizabeth?”

“See? It’s not all about me,” Rodney said loftily. 

“Oh, Rodney.” John abruptly dropped his head into his hands. “You should probably just go.”

Rodney squirmed, and wondered just how this had all gone so wrong. “I was just trying to…”

“Help. I know. It’s not working.”

Rodney sighed. “Any idea what actually might?”

After a few seconds, John lifted his head and turned to him. “Yeah.  How would you feel about a blowjob?”  

Rodney’s lips tightened. “Right.” He stood up and started to walk past John, looking down at him to give a withering glare, and saw his expression. He stopped. “You were trying to offend me into leaving?”

“No,” John said calmly.

“Oh.” Rodney turned and sank back down next to John. “Because I wasn’t offended.”

John looked faintly amused. “No?”

“No, well, of course I was offended that you would try to offend me, but I wasn’t offended by what you said. When you weren’t trying to offend me.”

“You’re babbling.” It sounded almost affectionate.

“I am cool, calm and collected,” Rodney protested, wishing that he sounded more convincing and that his heart would stop hammering.

John rubbed at his forehead with his knuckles, hard.

“Does your head ache?”

“I get that from talking to you.”

Rodney harrumphed. “Still not offended.”

“Still not trying. And you still haven’t answered my question.”

“How I would feel about…”

“A blowjob. Yes, Rodney, that was the question.” John looked like he didn’t care what the answer was, one way or another.

“You’re going to need to be more specific.” Rodney lifted his chin. “Giving or receiving?”

“Would you be interested in receiving?” John asked quickly.

“I’m a red-blooded human male,” Rodney answered, blinking. “I presume that somewhere there might conceivably be some man who wouldn’t be…”

John knuckled his forehead again. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“Well…yes.”

“Okay, then, stand up. Stand up; get your cock out. Come on!”

Rodney stared at his friend. “You’re being very…forthright?”

“Maybe that’s because I don’t feel like I’ve got much of anything to lose. I lost everything already today. And got it back.”

Me, too.

Uncertain, Rodney stood up nonetheless and moved in front of John. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“You don’t seem very eager,” John gibed, as his fingers pressed against the evidence of Rodney’s undoubted, growing eagerness.

“It’s not that.” Rodney put a hand on John’s shoulder for support as John opened up his trouser fly and his knees started to tremble. “I just can’t quite see how giving me a blow job is going to make you happy.”

“I can’t imagine anything making me feel happy right now,” John said without looking up, focusing all his attention on the cock he was pulling out of Rodney’s shorts. “But this will make me feel alive, anyway.”

Moist heat enveloped Rodney, and he wrapped his hands in John’s hair.

Me, too.