Part Two of Dining 'Out" series, rated PG, J/D

[sid]

'Box' Lunch, Jack/Daniel, Season 8, rated PG, second of five stories in the Dining 'Out' series.

Summary:  Jack and Daniel make lunch plans under rather unusual circumstances.

here is a link to Part One

When Daniel woke up, he had no idea where he was at first. It was pitch black, and he was completely disoriented. What had happened? He began to lift his head cautiously, but was suddenly startled by a groaning noise in his ear. His head jerked back and smacked sharply into a hard surface above him. He literally saw stars, vivid in the darkness. "Ow!" Another groan came from beneath him, and the surface that he was laying on shifted. "Jack!"

Daniel could think a little more clearly now, and was starting to remember what had happened. He and Jack had come to P3X982 to join in the observance of the fifth anniversary of the treaty this planet had signed with the Earth. The Pentagon had requested that Jack attend personally, as he had been the leader of SG-1 when first contact had been made, and his current rank of General made him a fitting representative for his government. Daniel had played a major part in the treaty negotiations, so Jack had taken him along as well, knowing that he would be a welcome addition at the scheduled ceremonies.

They had arrived to a warm greeting, but on the way to the Great Hall there had been protesters lining the streets. Not all the citizens here were happy about the alliance with Earth, and more than one anti-Earth faction had arisen as a result. Their hosts explained to them that the protests had always been kept in the political arena, no violence had ever been even threatened. Daniel had suggested that he and Jack might talk to some of the leaders of the opposition, to try to address their concerns. This suggestion was eagerly embraced, and a meeting had been set up for the next day. Today, Daniel realized. "Jack?"

He and Jack had spent the night in a suite of rooms provided for their use. This morning servants had brought sliced fruit and a hot beverage which, while not unpleasant, unfortunately in no way resembled coffee. The two men drank and ate while discussing yesterday’s ceremony and the agenda for today’s meeting. And then Daniel had started to feel dizzy, with Jack soon showing the same symptoms. They had obviously been drugged. He couldn’t remember anything after that, until he had woken up here in the darkness, laying on top of an unconscious Jack.

"Ooof!" Make that a formerly unconscious Jack, who was now struggling beneath Daniel’s weight, pushing at him. "Jack! Stop shoving!"

"Daniel?"

"How’d you guess?"

"Wanna get off me, please?"

"I’m not sure I can. Hold on, let me feel around a little."

Daniel stretched his arms out in every direction that he could, and moved his feet in a similar manner. Jack inhaled sharply. "Jack? Are you okay?"

"Stupid question, Daniel!" Jack snapped.

"Are you hurt?" Daniel asked in an alarmed tone. He started touching Jack in the total darkness, trying to find an injury.

"For cryin’ out loud, will you cut that out?" Jack yelled, knocking Daniel‘s hand away..

Daniel froze. "Jack, I don’t know what’s wrong!"

He heard Jack breathing in and out heavily. He waited silently, biting his lip.

"Sorry," Jack said in a more moderate tone of voice. "Over-reacted there a bit."

"Yeah, okay," Daniel said slowly. "You’re not hurt?"

"No, I’m fine. You?"

"I’m fine," Daniel hastened to assure him.

"Good. Just….try not to move around like that anymore."

"I…okay. Um, anyway, we seem to be in a box. Uh, pretty much coffin-size and shape from what I can tell."

"Of course we are," Jack said in a disgruntled tone of voice.

"So, that’s pretty much the situation."

Jack snorted. "Aren’t you leaving out the best part?"

"I am?"

"We’re naked, Daniel."

Daniel winced. "Yeah, I got that part."

"Hence my earlier request that you not move around so much."

Daniel was very glad that Jack couldn’t see his face at the moment. "Okay, sorry," he mumbled.

"Not your fault," Jack said comfortingly. "It’s just that the little General doesn’t always take orders, ya know?"

Daniel’s mouth fell open in shock, and then he began to snicker. "The little General? Did your penis get a recent promotion, too, Jack?"

"Yep. It was a small, private ceremony." Jack grinned in the darkness when Daniel’s head thumped down onto his chest as his friend yelped and convulsed with laughter. After a few seconds Jack tapped Daniel on the shoulder and commented, "Maybe it would be a good idea if you tried not to laugh quite so hard, either."

Daniel grew still. Jack felt a gust of air brush across his chest. He patted Daniel on the shoulder to let him know it was okay.

Daniel raised his head slightly. "Um, Jack, I think we should just agree right now to forgive each other for anything that happens here, bodily function-wise. I mean, if we’re here long enough…."

"What are you trying to say?" Jack asked in a strangled voice.

"Well, sooner or later, I’m going to have to pee."

"Oh! That. Well, look on the bright side."

"Which is?"

"You won’t ruin my shoes." Daniel’s silence spoke volumes. Jack smirked.

"So we’re in agreement?" Daniel asked patiently.

"Sure."

"Okay. So, what do you think is going on here? I mean, you don’t seem to be terribly worried, under the circumstances."

"I’d guess it’s a political protest of some sort," Jack said. "And, no, I’m not too worried. If they wanted us dead, we’d be dead already."

"That makes sense," Daniel mused. "And the whole being naked bit only really makes sense if the plan is to humiliate us in some way."

"Notice that we’re not moving?" Jack asked.

"So you think we’re hidden away somewhere and it’s just a matter of time until we’re ‘discovered’, so to speak?"

"’Revealed’ would be another way to put it."

"You have such a way with words, General," Daniel said dryly. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "We, we couldn’t be buried, could we?"

"No problem with the oxygen supply that I’ve detected," Jack answered promptly, hearing the slight note of panic in his friend’s voice. "And who knows how long we were in here unconscious? There must be vents in this box, and we’d smell dirt if we were underground."

"Right," Daniel said with relief. "We must be covered with something though, since it’s so pitch black in here. Or else light would be coming in through the air vents."

"Right. Not much we can do except sit tight and wait."

"We could try shouting." Daniel suggested.

"Okay. Just try not to shout in my ear, huh?"

Daniel lifted his head and turned it to the side as he began shouting for help. Jack turned his head in the same direction, and shouted in unison with Daniel. After a few shouts, Jack slid his hand over Daniel’s face, covering his mouth. The two men listened for a minute, and then Jack said, "Other way."

They repeated their shouts in the opposite direction, and waited hopefully for a response. None was forthcoming. "It was worth a try," Jack said calmly.

Silence reigned for a few minutes as the two men contemplated their situation.

Suddenly Daniel laughed. "What?" Jack asked, smiling.

"I was just wondering how the protesters came up with this particular plan. And if I didn’t know better, I’d bet that they’d been talking to Sam."

"I wouldn’t put it past her," Jack growled.

"She been getting to you?" Daniel teased. "I mean, all those questions about how our ‘date’ went, when we’re going out again…"

"Daniel, I am a Brigadier General in the United States Air Force. I’ll have you know that I am above being bothered by such petty…"

"Really getting under your skin, isn’t she?"

"The woman is relentless!" Jack moaned.

Daniel snickered quietly. "Hey, speaking of our ‘date’, what do you suppose our waiter would think if he could see us now?"

Jack snorted. "Exactly the same thing he thought before." Both men chuckled.

A growling noise was heard. "Was that my stomach or yours?" Daniel asked.

"Mine, I think," Jack answered. "Shouldn’t have started thinking about David’s."

Out of the blue, Daniel asked, "Can you breathe all right, Jack? I mean, I must be getting pretty heavy."

"Well, it’s no picnic, but I can breathe."

Another, louder, growling noise filled the air. "Okay, that was you," Jack pointed out.

"You said ‘picnic‘," Daniel complained.

"Well, pardonnez moi," Jack responded sarcastically.

Daniel’s weight suddenly shifted on top of Jack. "Hey!" Jack protested. "Give a guy some warning!"

"Jack, I think I might be able to move off of you after all. If you shift onto your right side and scoot backwards and I move to the left…"

"Worth trying," Jack said eagerly. "I mean, no offense, Danny, but you weigh a ton."

"Gee, thanks a lot," Daniel said in an affronted tone.

"Solid muscle," Jack soothed with a pat on Daniel’s shoulder. "Okay, let’s do this. Count of three? One, two, three…"

"Hey!"

"Ow!"

After a confused pause, "Your other left, Daniel. Three."

On the same page now, they slid their bodies past each other in the confined space without too much difficulty, winding up face-to-face once again, their bodies touching but no longer pressed together.

"Is that better, Jack? Oh…" Daniel’s voice broke off.

"Sorry, Danny," Jack apologized.

"No problem," Daniel answered quickly, but his discomfort was evident in his voice..

"I’m ordering him to stand down," Jack hastened to add. "Just…give me a minute here."

Daniel’s stomach rumbled. Both men laughed, tension broken. "Must be lunch time," Daniel guessed.

"What would you eat? If you could have lunch right now, where would you go and what would you have?"

"Changing the subject, Jack?" Daniel asked slyly, his momentary discomfort over.

"Where would you go?" Jack pressed.

"There’s a place near my house, The Crescent Moon. They do a lot of Cajun food, but other things too, of course."

"And what would you order?"

"Po’boy sandwich, made with crab cakes. Had it once, I always planned to go back and get that again."

"Crab cake sandwich? Sounds weird."

"Oh, no, you’d like it. Cajun mustard, red onion, shredded cabbage. Comes with sweet potato fries. Oh, and they make the same sandwich with Andouille sausage instead."

"That sounds more like it," Jack said. "What do you drink with it?"

"Well, Sauvignon Blanc goes well with crab cakes. Something else if it’s the sausage."

"Beer?" Jack asked.

"They’ve got some imported Louisiana beers," Daniel informed him.

"Perfect!"

"We should go," Daniel invited.

"You buying?" Jack wanted to know.

"Sure, it’s my turn, right?. I mean, it’s not as fancy as David’s…"

"That was a special celebration thingy," Jack said offhandedly.

"Well, I’ll take you to lunch to celebrate surviving the embarrassment that’s coming our way when the lid of this box is opened up." Jack was silent. "Jack?"

"I just had a horrid thought."

"What?"

"The SGC has probably been notified that we’re missing. You know what that means, don’t you?"

Daniel felt a distinct sinking sensation. "Oh, don’t tell me."

"Betcha anything. Carter and Teal’c will be heading up the search and rescue team."

There was silence. "Daniel?"

"Um, I just hadn’t thought about it being our own people who would find us." Daniel sounded very unhappy at the thought.

"Well, it’s definitely a possibility. What’s the big deal anyway?" Jack asked gently. "So we’re in for some more teasing from Carter. It’s not like she was through with teasing us anyway."

"It’s not Sam or Teal’c that I’m worried about," Daniel confessed.

"Who, then?" Jack asked, frowning.

"There’s been some gossip," Daniel said in a low tone. "About you and me."

"Has somebody been giving you a hard time, Daniel?" Jack asked angrily.

"What? No! No, I just overheard some people talking."

"Daniel," Jack began.

"I’m sorry, Jack. It’s probably my fault. You know, what I said in the commissary about you taking me on a date. People must have heard that. I just didn’t think. I should have…."

"Daniel!" Jack said loudly. "Will you stop apologizing already?"

Daniel fell silent.

"Look," Jack said more quietly, "you’ve been working on a military base long enough to know how much gossip flies around on a regular basis. Most of it is absolutely meaningless. And very little of it is malicious. It’s just a way of passing the time of day."

"I wouldn’t ever want to do anything that might hurt your career, Jack," Daniel said miserably.

"A little gossip isn’t going to hurt me or my career, Daniel. Put that thought right out of your mind."

"Okay," Daniel said unconvincingly.

"Anyway," Jack pointed out, "there’s been gossip about us for years."

"You’re…tell me you’re kidding me!" Daniel pleaded.

"Yep. You and me, me and Carter, you and Carter, Teal’c and Carter, you and Teal’c. Who am I leaving out? Oh, yeah, Teal’c and me."

Daniel cleared his throat. "You’re serious, aren’t you?"

"So you see that there’s nothing to worry about," Jack said soothingly. "Besides, I’m the General, and I can do whatever I want. Within reason. And that certainly covers taking a friend to dinner."

"Or having a friend take you to lunch."

"Right. It’s a ‘date’, Daniel."

"Oh, okay," Daniel gave in willingly. "That’s always assuming that we survive the embarrassment."

"You need an incentive? Tell me what we’re going to have for dessert at The Crescent Moon."

Daniel smiled in the darkness. "Crème brulee. They put blueberries and raspberries on it. It’s great."

"Two spoons?" Jack inquired with a smile of his own.

"Two spoons," Daniel agreed happily.

"And what do we drink with dessert?" Jack asked.

"Port."

"If you say so."

"I didn’t invent the combination. I saw it on a menu once and tried it," Daniel said.

"So, yummy?" Jack guessed.

"Extremely," Daniel promised.

"When do we do this?"

"First chance we get?"

"Don’t know what time of day it’ll be when we get home," Jack pointed out. "And they’ll want to keep us in the infirmary and run tests, since we were drugged and all."

"Well, we really shouldn’t plan on doing it on a work day, what with the alcohol consumption, so maybe this weekend?"

"Unless the timing works out so that we conveniently get released from the infirmary and sent home right at lunch time," Jack said hopefully.

"So that’s Plan A?" Daniel suggested.

"Right, and Saturday would be Plan B."

"With Sunday as Contingency Plan C."

"Let’s shake on it," Jack said. Daniel’s right hand found his unerringly in the blackness. Strangely, neither man found that to be at all odd. As their hands gripped each other, there was sudden noise from outside the box. Jack’s grip tightened, and then relaxed as he identified the familiar sound of Teal’c’s voice.

There was the sound of something dragging across the top of their box, and pinpoints of light cut through the darkness, causing both men to screw their eyes tightly closed in pain. Jack patted Daniel’s hand with his left hand, and released his grip. "Shield your eyes," he recommended.

Moments later the lid of the box was raised, and light flooded into the enclosed space. Daniel blocked the light with his right hand and blinked rapidly, looking straight ahead. His eyes met Jack’s watery gaze. As the two men smiled at each other, a faint shadow fell over them.

"Sir! Are you all right?" Peering between their fingers, Jack and Daniel smiled up into Teal’c’s and Sam’s anxious faces.

"Got a blanket handy, Carter?" General O’Neill inquired mildly.

 

THE END

 

 

 

Comments

[sorcha-gaia.livejournal.com]

This was great. No freak-outs, no whimperings, no "oh, poor Daniel." Just a couple of really, really good friends making the best of a pretty stupid situation (and I mean the embarrassment aspect, not that it's a stupid plot point). So, naturally, the friendship deepens even further.

Okay, yeah, I'm hooked. I'm on to the next one! :)

[sid]

It was "poor Jack" for a bit there at the beginning!

This story-in-a-box had been on my mind for a while. I was delighted when I realized I could fit it into a series, because it really didn't stand alone very well. Being so generally goofy, and all. :-)

On to Breakfast, then!