sid | A Birthday Fic for Deeds! Rated R

Because

discodiva76 always, always, always is there to give great, enthusiastic feedback to Jack/Daniel writers,

jdjunkie suggested that we give her a little something. So jd and I put our heads together (ow) and came up with... a WIP!

Well, okay, it wasn't intended to be a WIP but RL got in the way. So we present Deeds (and the rest of the wonderful J/D community) with a totally unintentional cliffhanger, to be resolved ever so soon, we promise, cross our hearts, really, we have more done than this, just another day or two, honest. :-)

To: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

From: budgeisnass@digme.com

Date: July 1

Subject: It pisses me off that you never fill in this line

Hey,

Just to say don’t bother calling me tonight. My crappy artefact-like cell phone has finally given up the ghost. It is deader than that parrot in the old comedy sketch you made me watch last week. The one that had you rolling around the floor and me not laughing. That one. Damn phone has all those great pix I took of you wearing Vala’s pink handcuffs. Encryption is a beautiful thing.

Nothing much happened here today. Still waiting on the go for the upcoming mission to the Planet of the Beings with Two Heads (actually it’s a fairly dull planet with utterly fascinating naquadria possibilities) I just said that to make life sound exciting. Which it isn’t.

Teal’c sends his love. OK, he kind of inclined his head a little but that’s as good as.

I miss you. The bed’s too big without you.

Love

To: budgeisnass@digme.com

From: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

Date: July 1

Subject: Re: It pisses me off that you never fill in this line like a loser

Shit.

No phone nookie? I’m poutin’ here.

Damn shame about those handcuff photos, because I think we both agree that pink is my color when it comes to cuffs of the hand variety. Mmm. Variety. Have I mentioned lately that I love your inventive brain? Snookums?

Tell T that I inclined my head back at him. The big flirt.

My bed is also… no. Actually, my bed is just the right size without you. And WAY too small when you’re in it. But then I believe we have discussed your sprawling tendencies and your subconscious need to invade and seize territory from helpless, snoring innocents many and many a time, n’est ce pas?

So the bed’s size is fine and good.

Bit cold, perhaps.

To: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

From: budgeisnass@digme.com

Date: July 1

Subject: Loser is as loser does. Loser.

You are so right about pink being your color. You look heavenly in those boxers dotted with the pink hearts that I bought you for Christmas. These emails are encrypted, right? I’d hate for your reputation as a bad ass general to be ruined if this got out to the grunts. On the other hand, I kind if like the idea of squads of jarheads mentally undressing you to find the pink, lacy underwear that lies beneath. Bwahahaha.

It’s getting late and I’m wrangling frigging departmental budget proposals here. What a waste of a brilliant mind. (Sam’s opinion not mine. She was trying to snaffle a Snickers at the time, hence the sucking up).

Speaking of sucking ... I am ridiculously horny. I don’t want to jerk off (well I do ...) because I want to save it for you and for Friday. Christ. It can’t come soon enough (and neither can I. LOL, which means laughing out loud, btw. Which means by the way). Four days, including one deadly-dull 24-hour mission, and counting.

Fyi, I do not sprawl. You insinuate your deliciously hard, hairy body beneath mine every chance you get. Every bed is the right size as long as we’re writhing in it together.

Do not initiate internet sex. I’m saving it.

Yours, sporting a hard-on with your name on it,

To: budgeisnass@digme.com

From: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

Date: July 1

Subject: :-P

:-P

And again I say, :-P

And please, please, do not mention Carter, sucking, and horniness in adjacent paragraphs. The mind… goes places.

Bad places.

Fun places, admittedly, but bad nonetheless. But I digress.

I like that you’re saving yourself for me. And my delicious hard, hairy body. Well, maybe the old body’s a little softer than it used to be, but the important bits still know how to stand to attention.

And that hard-on with my name on it? Is gonna have my mouth on it before you know it, sport.

Me? Internet sex? Initiate, yet? You make me LOL. Which, btw and fyi, I already knew.

(condescending prick.)

(with my name on it.)

Yours truly,

Truly Yours, Esq.

To: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

From: budgeisnass@digme.com

Date: July 1

Subject: :-P~~~~~~~~~

Hey,

Love to stop and banter and consider my favorite part of your body some more, but I’m out the door. Mission’s been bumped up by 24 hours and I need to be back at the SGC in an hour.

The aliens don’t really have two heads, you know. They’re boringly humanoid with a sense of humor akin to the Tollan and the dress sense of Kinthia’s crowd.

Mission should be a (very dull) walk in the park. Don’t worry, OK? Although it does give me the warm fuzzies to think of you thinking of me. Because you know I’m thinking of you. Always.

Sam says she’ll jury-rig an encrypted cell when we get back, just to keep me going until we sort out a new one.

I love you. And only you know how much.

To: budgeisnass@digme.com

From: Crappie_catcher007@fishmail.net

Date: July 1

Subject:

Oh! Okay. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and I’ll talk to you in 24.

Unless you want to come home sooner, which would be a-okay with me.

Missing you already,

A. Bigsap

OXOXOX

To: budgeisnass@digme.com