"If You Really Loved Me", Part 1 of 3, written April-May 2005, PG

I'm posting this to LJ for the first time due to a remark made by janedavitt .

It's too big for a single post, so I'll do it in 3 chapters, as originally written.  I cleaned up some of the punctuation, but left the schmoop intact. *g*

There's Daniel under the influence and a startled Jack in this chapter.

( Read Part One )

 

( Read Part One )

“Daniel?”

 

“Yes, Jack?”

 

“Whatcha doin’?”

 

Pause. “I have no idea.”

 

“So, how ‘bout stopping then?”

 

Pause. “I don’t think so.” Jack took a slight step in Daniel’s direction, only to have Daniel level his weapon at Jack’s chest. Jack stood stock still.  “And I don’t think it would be a very good idea for you to try to stop me, either.”

 

Jack looked around at the bodies littering the floor of the control room. “Are you going to kill me, too?”

 

Daniel continued to tap on the computer keyboard with one hand, while keeping his weapon firmly pointed at his best friend. The blast doors to the Gate room on the level below were closing. Daniel glanced around the control room and told Jack, “Oh, they’re not dead.”

 

“You sure?” Jack asked. “Have you ever used that weapon before?”

 

Daniel blinked up at him, and frowned slightly. “I just know.”

 

“Like you know what to do, even though you don’t know what you’re doing?”

 

Daniel shrugged irritably. “Maybe you should just be quiet now, and let me do what I have to do.”

 

“You know I can’t do that, Daniel,” Jack said quietly. “I’m going to have to stop you. One way or another.”

 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m protected by a force shield, Jack. So, not really much you can do, is there?” Daniel smiled at Jack, as if inviting him to share in the joke. Jack couldn’t quite see the humor. The Stargate came to life. Daniel was dialing out. “Chevron One encoded. I have always wanted to say that!”

 

“Daniel, you have to stop!” Jack shouted.

 

“Will you calm down? It’s an outgoing wormhole. Where’s the harm? Chevron Four encoded.”

 

The klaxon began to sound. Jack had known it was only a matter of time before the SFs monitoring the security camera video saw what was happening and responded. He himself had faintly heard shouts traveling up the staircase to the briefing room outside his office, and gone to investigate. 

 

“Nobody is getting in, Jack. I’ve extended the force shield to seal the entrances to this room.” Jack could see armed SFs trying to enter the room via both staircases and having no luck. The outgoing wormhole was established. “Damn! I missed saying Chevron Seven locked!” Daniel was tapping on the keyboard again. 

 

“You’re sending a signal,” Jack realized. “Daniel, you cannot do this! Listen to me!”

 

“I’m listening,” Daniel said. His hand continued to move over the keyboard and his weapon remained firmly fixed on Jack. The wormhole shut down.

 

“What did you do, Daniel?” Jack implored.

 

“I told you, I have no idea,” Daniel repeated. His full attention was on Jack now, since his task was completed.

 

“Okay,” Jack said slowly, “okay, but you could figure it out.”

 

“What do you mean?” Daniel frowned.

 

“I mean you’re a genius, and all that. Think about it. What just happened? What were you doing and what’s going to happen next?”

 

“Jack.” Daniel smiled at him indulgently. “Even if I could figure it out, why would I tell you?”

 

“Because we’re friends,” Jack said with clenched fists. “Because we share things.”

 

The ring of the Stargate began to rotate again. Unauthorized off world activation. The iris was open. It was an invasion. Or a bomb. Jack felt his heart in his throat.

 

Daniel chuckled. “I love it when you try to be subtle.”

 

“If you really loved me,” Jack said desperately, “you’d help me stop this.”

 

Daniel blinked slowly up at him, and then, as Jack watched in disbelief, he laid down his alien weapon on the console and collapsed into a boneless heap on the floor. The shimmering force shields disappeared. The seventh chevron was locking. Jack sprang to the console, waiting for the wormhole to establish. The instant it appeared he slammed his palm down, closing the iris.

 

The room was filling with SFs. Jack shouted for quiet. In the ensuing silence he listened with horror to the seemingly endless string of impacts on the iris. An invasion army. Sizable. It had been so close. He found himself shaking. He heard a quiet voice speaking into the telephone, calling for medical assistance. 

 

Daniel! 

 

He knelt on the floor beside his friend and felt frantically for a pulse. A lieutenant knelt beside him. “The others are all alive, General.” Jack closed his eyes, and nodded his head. Daniel was alive, too.

 

~~~~

 

Jack approached Daniel’s bed in the infirmary. Sam was sitting in a chair next to her teammate, holding his hand in a loose grip. “How’s he doing, Carter?” Jack asked.

 

Sam smiled up at him. “He was awake a little while ago.” Jack felt immediate regret that he hadn’t been able to be there. “He had some ice chips, and he asked if you were okay, and then he went back to sleep.”

 

Jack stared at his sleeping friend’s face. “He asked about me?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Sam replied. She stroked Daniel’s arm. “We don’t really know what he was thinking. I mean, he wasn’t terribly alert.”

 

“Right,” Jack said, tearing his eyes away from Daniel for a moment to look at her. “The doctors say that he’s going to be fine. I mean now that they got that chip out of his head.” He spoke like a man who craved reassurance.

 

 “Yes, sir,” Sam replied immediately. “The surgery was relatively minor and he’s recovering very well.”

 

“But they can’t really know that there won’t be any lasting effects, can they?” Jack worried.

 

“The microchip is being studied, sir.” Sam broke off as her eyes met the General’s. “No, they can’t really know at this point. They’ll know more when Daniel really wakes up and is able to be questioned.” Jack winced. “I know, that sounds awful.”

 

Jack walked past her, to the head of the bed. He ran his hand gently through Daniel’s hair and then laid it on Daniel’s shoulder as he looked down at Sam. “I’m sending SGs 2,10 and 14 and three Marine units through to P2Y-712. Maybe they can find something out.”

 

Sam nodded and stood up. “It makes sense that this happened there. Daniel was separated from Teal’c and me for a few hours, but there was no indication that anything was wrong. It wasn‘t like he was missing.”

 

“I know, Carter. Absolutely not your fault. We’ll get to the bottom of it. If it was them, they lost a whole lot of people today. I don’t think they’re going to be a threat anymore.” Jack transferred his gaze back to Daniel. “We just want whatever they can tell us about the effects of the device that was implanted in Daniel, and then they can go to hell.”

 

Sam looked at his worried face. “Take my chair, sir,” she said gently. “I’m going to go find something to eat. You can keep Daniel company for a while?”

 

Jack sank into the chair without looking at her. “Sure,” he said. He covered Daniel’s hand with his own, just as Sam had done. “Take your time.”

 

~~~~

 

Jack looked at his watch. Carter had been gone for over an hour now, and he couldn’t honestly justify remaining at Daniel’s bedside much longer. Some times being General sucked, and this was one of them. He began stacking the folders of work that he had had Walter bring him. At least he had accomplished a few things while sitting here, but he needed his desk, with his computer and his telephone. He pushed the bedside table away and scooted his chair closer to Daniel. Just a few more minutes….

 

Jack found himself staring into Daniel’s confused blue eyes. “Hey, Daniel,” he said in surprise. “You decide to wake up finally?”

 

“Jack?”

 

“Right here, buddy.”

 

“You’re all right?”

 

Jack took gentle hold of his friend’s hand and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine. You will be, too.” Daniel’s hand clutched his anxiously. “Everybody’s fine, everything’s okay. Honest.”

 

“I was hurt?” Daniel asked, looking around the infirmary.

 

“Little surgery. You’re okay now,” Jack reassured him.

 

Daniel looked up at his friend. “Oh, no, what did I do?” He struggled to sit up and Jack pressed him back down on the bed. “I did something, didn’t I?” His eyes were begging Jack for answers.

 

“Everything is fine, Daniel. I promise.” Daniel grew more quiet. “You don’t remember anything?” Daniel shook his head, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. His hand was still clutching Jack’s tightly. Jack stroked Daniel’s hair soothingly. “Everything is taken care of; it’s all over.”

 

“You’re all right?” Daniel asked again.

 

Jack blinked a few times. “Yes,” he nodded, “I’m just fine. You already asked me that.”

 

Daniel’s eyes were searching his. “I can’t remember,” Daniel said.

 

“You mean you don’t remember asking me that?” Jack frowned.

 

“No, I mean I can’t remember what happened,” Daniel said.

 

“You already said that, too,” Jack said worriedly. He rose to his feet. “I’m going to find the doctor.”

 

“No, Jack, wait.” Daniel struggled to find the right words. “I mean I sort of remember something with you, but I don’t remember what. Something bad?”

 

“Oh.” Jack sat down again. “That. So you’re worried about me.” Daniel nodded. “Okay. Okay, look, you had a microchip of some kind in your head, and you went a little nutso. Chip’s out, you’re going to be fine, and no harm done. And you didn’t hurt me, so quit worrying about it.” He smiled down at Daniel. “All right?”

 

Daniel looked at him suspiciously. “I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

 

Jack surveyed Daniel’s narrow-eyed glare happily. That’s my Daniel. “Oh, you mean the part where you held a weapon on me?” Daniel’s eyes widened dramatically. “But you didn’t use it, and you wouldn’t have hurt me anyway. It was some kind of alien doohickey and the people you used it on are just fine. Zero ill effects. Relax.”

 

Daniel’s grip on Jack’s hand loosened and his eyelids drooped. “You’ll tell me all about it later?”

 

“Gonna take a nap now?” Jack asked gently. But Daniel didn’t answer; he was already asleep.

 

Jack released his hand from Daniel’s and watched the other man sleep for a minute. I wonder if you’ll remember more when you wake up? Jack straightened up resolutely and exited the infirmary. Duty called.

 

~~~~

 

General O’Neill was waiting at the foot of the ramp when the six units he had ordered to P2Y-712 returned. The leader of SG10 was senior officer. “James, what have you got?”

 

Colonel James held out his hand and took some papers from one of his teammates. “Schematics of the device that was implanted into Doctor Jackson, sir.”

 

“Good work,” Jack praised. “What did they tell you?”

 

“They said that there should be no lasting effects, now that the device has been removed.”

 

“You believe them?” Jack wanted to know.

 

“Oh, yeah,” the Colonel answered. “They were practically pissing themselves trying to give us what we wanted. The politician types insist that the military acted without any authority. Now, that I don’t believe for a minute.”

 

“Neither do I,” Jack said grimly. “Threat assessment?”

 

“They’re not interested in a fair fight,” James answered disdainfully. “I don’t anticipate any more trouble from them. It’s going to take them some time to rebuild their military anyway.”

 

“Well done, Colonel. Dismissed.” Jack looked up at the control room, and focused in on Walter’s face. “Lock ‘em out of the dialing computer, Sergeant.” He motioned an airman to his side. “Take these papers to Colonel Carter’s lab. If she’s not there, have her paged.” He stood for a moment gathering his thoughts and then headed for the infirmary to check up on Daniel.

 

~~~~

 

Daniel was actually sitting up in bed, sipping from a cup of fruit juice when Jack arrived. “Hey!” he said with delight when he saw Jack approaching.

 

Jack smiled at him broadly. “Hey yourself! All on your own?”

 

“Teal’c was here when I woke up. He left a little while ago.” Daniel looked much more alert than he had earlier. “Can you stay a while?”

 

“Yeah, little while.” Jack pulled the chair up and seated himself with a sigh. He surveyed his friend closely. Daniel was positively beaming at him. Huh. “Remember any of what happened?” he asked nonchalantly.

 

Daniel grew more serious. “No, nothing. Teal’c filled me in though.”

 

“He’s such a gossip,” Jack gibed.

 

“Alien invasion,” Daniel said with no trace of humor.

 

“Didn’t happen,” Jack soothed.

 

“Yeah, well, no thanks to me,” Daniel replied.

 

“And no fault of yours, either,” Jack pointed out.

 

Daniel shrugged. “Anyway, Teal’c couldn’t actually tell me how it ended.”

 

“Ended?” Jack asked. “Invasion thwarted.” He smirked.

 

“Yes, but how?” Daniel wanted to know. “I mean, the control room was blocked off, and I was shielded, too, right? Along with the iris control. Did you do something?”

 

“No,” Jack told him, “you did.”

 

“I did?” Daniel blinked at him in confusion. “What did I do?”

 

“You passed out.”

 

“I passed out.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Just, passed out. For no apparent reason.”

 

Jack pursed his lips. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

 

“Jack!” Daniel looked like he was contemplating an act of strangulation.

 

“I think you managed to seize back control somehow.”

 

“Really?” Daniel looked quite pleased at the idea.

 

“Really,” Jack assured him.

 

“Because?”

 

“Because what?”

 

“Why do you think I suddenly took control at that point? I mean, did I finally realize what I was doing? Did I know that I had to act right then to stop what was happening?”

 

Jack slid one hand behind his back. “I think you realized something that was important enough to you that you managed to take back control, yes.”

 

“Like that the Earth was about to be invaded?” Daniel was wide-eyed. 

 

“Could be,” Jack said noncommittally.

 

“Wow,” Daniel commented quietly. “I guess we just got lucky.”

 

Jack uncrossed his fingers behind his back, and smiled sweetly at Daniel. “Yeah. I know I’m feeling very lucky today,” he said sincerely. Daniel blinked uncertainly at his friend. Jack’s smile grew even broader, until Daniel couldn’t help but respond in kind.

 

~~~~

 

A few minutes later Jack was called away, leaving Daniel alone with his thoughts. He burrowed down into the bed, getting comfortable. He could feel a wave of sleepiness overtaking him. He gazed up at the ceiling dreamily, picturing Jack’s last smile. The memory filled him with warmth. Thank goodness he hadn’t done anything to harm Jack. His eyelids fluttered shut.

 

Jack meant the world to him.

 

His mind, on the brink of sleep, sensed that that thought was important. He hazily chased the idea in circles, trying to assign some significance to it.

 

Daniel rolled onto his side, sighed “Jack”, and slept.

on to Part Two

"If You Really Loved Me", Part 2 of 3, written April-May 2005, PG-13

Header and Part One 

This chapter has snuggling and a mystery that Daniel needs to solve.

( Read Part Two )

 

Daniel found himself awake, sitting upright in bed with heart pounding.

 

Jack!

 

He looked around the dimly lit room in panicked confusion. He was in Jack’s guest room. He’d been released from the infirmary yesterday, and Jack had taken him home with him for the night, to keep an eye on him. That meant Jack was okay, he had to be. Right?

 

Logic was having no impact on Daniel’s terrified mind. He fought his way clear of the twisted bed sheets and stumbled out the door on shaking legs, headed for Jack’s bedroom.

 

Jack must have heard him coming, because the bedside lamp was switched on before he even reached the doorway. And Jack was on his feet and coming towards him when he got there. “Daniel?”

 

“You’re all right?” Jack had reached him, and Daniel clutched at his arm.

 

Jack’s face was concerned. “That again? I’m fine. You keep asking me that.” He rubbed at his friend’s arms in a reassuring manner. “You’re shivering.”

 

“I shot you,” Daniel got out between chattering teeth.

 

“No, you didn’t. You held a weapon on me, but you didn’t fire.” Jack pulled Daniel towards the bed. “You just had a nightmare. Get in the bed, you’re cold.” Daniel climbed into Jack’s bed obediently, which was uncharacteristic enough to raise Jack’s eyebrows. “Scoot over, get in the warm spot.”

 

Daniel scooted over further, and Jack climbed into the bed beside him. “I dreamed I shot you. In the control room.”

 

“Just a dream,” Jack soothed.

 

“Really?” Daniel said anxiously. “You’re not keeping anything from me?” Jack seemed to hesitate. Daniel tried to search his face, but the lamp was behind the other man’s head, putting his face in shadows. “Jack?”

 

“Daniel, do you seriously think for one minute that I would let you shoot me and then not rub it in every single chance I got?” Daniel’s eyes widened. “Remember who you’re talkin’ to here.”

 

“Right.” Daniel relaxed perceptibly, but a frown drew his eyebrows together. “It’s just that I’m never sure if I’m remembering something, or if it’s just my imagination.”

 

“You’re obsessing. Try not to worry about it so much,” Jack recommended. He rubbed Daniel’s arm. “Warmer now? Daniel?”

 

“Could I see the security camera footage, Jack? Would you arrange that for me?”

 

Jack frowned slightly. “Do you really think that’s going to help you?”

 

Daniel nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, I think that would help a lot. I don’t see how it could make things any worse.” He grimaced apologetically, gesturing at himself and Jack’s bedroom.

 

“I’ll fix it up for you first thing in the morning,” Jack promised. “Go to sleep.”

 

“I can go back to the other room,” Daniel offered, yawning.

 

“Stay. Maybe the sound of my steady breathing will stop you from worrying about me,” Jack said with a grin.

 

“Steady what?” Daniel queried. “I don’t think I heard that right.”

 

“I do not snore! Now shut up and let me sleep,” Jack said, mock-indignantly. He rolled over and switched off the lamp.

 

Daniel smiled at the back of his friend’s head. “’Night, Jack.”

 

~~~~

 

Daniel’s conscious mind slowly began to surface. He felt warm and content. He sighed, and heard an answering sigh in his ear. Jack. He became aware of a warm body pressing against his back and a heavy arm draped across his stomach. A soft snore rumbled gently behind him, and he smiled and blinked his eyes a few times, before letting them slide closed again.

 

This is a nice way to wake up, he mused drowsily. He shifted position slowly, trying to get more comfortable. Jack’s arm tightened slightly. Daniel smiled again, and then realized that the other man had a morning erection, which was now pressing against Daniel’s backside. Feels nice. His eyes shot open. What the hell?!

 

Daniel launched himself from the bed as if jet-propelled. Okay, he was fully awake now! He must have been dreaming a second ago. Yes, he had still been dreaming. He heard Jack moving behind him. “Crap! Daniel.” He forced himself to turn back and face Jack. “I’m sorry,” Jack said firmly.

 

“For what?” Daniel asked, flustered and a little confused.

 

“For whatever it was that I did that made you fly out of the bed that way,” Jack answered ruefully. “In my own defense, however, let me just point out that I was asleep at the time.”

 

“No, you didn’t do anything,” Daniel told him.

 

“Not buying it, Daniel. Although I appreciate the effort.”

 

“I just have to pee,” Daniel explained hopefully.

 

Jack waved his hand. “Go.” His eyes told Daniel that he still wasn’t buying it.

 

As he washed his hands after using the toilet, Daniel looked at himself in the mirror. His face was flushed with embarrassment. His eyes lost focus as he suddenly realized something that made him smile. He dried his hands, the smile growing broader.

 

When he came back out into the bedroom, Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed with a pillow over his lap, rubbing his hands through his hair and yawning. “Hey! Guess what?” Daniel said with a sunny smile. Jack made a face that indicated his mystification, and shrugged. “I didn’t wake up worried about you!”

 

Jack stared up at him blankly for a second, and then a smile started to grow in his eyes and spread to his face. “Not for the usual reasons, anyway,” he pointed out. Daniel couldn’t help himself. He snorted. Jack tossed aside his pillow and stood up. “You want to start the coffee?” Daniel nodded, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Jack’s face. Jack grinned at him. “Okay, I’ll take a quick shower then.”

 

“Okay,” Daniel answered, and fled from the room.

 

~~~~

 

Daniel was at his desk working. Breakfast at Jack’s house and the ride in to work together had gone off fairly smoothly, with the minimum amount of awkwardness. When he and Jack had parted company in the elevator, Jack’s last words had been a repetition of his promise to get the Daniel the security camera footage. Now Daniel’s computer was making the appropriate noises that informed him he had just received an email message. This could be it.

 

Daniel clicked on the icon minimized at the bottom of his screen. The subject line of the new email was: As per General O’Neill’s request. A file containing the footage was attached to the message. He put aside what he had been doing and began the process of loading the footage into a player. While he waited for the playback to commence, he found that his palms were sweaty. He wiped them on his trousers and took a few deep, calming breaths.

 

The video began to play.

 

Daniel watched with an eerie sense of disbelief as he saw himself calmly shooting the occupants of the control room with a strange-looking device. He knew that no one had been injured, but it was still horribly shocking to witness. He saw himself sitting down at the console and tapping at the keyboard. He saw Jack come into view at the foot of the staircase that led to the briefing room above.

 

He saw himself aiming his weapon at Jack, saw how Jack froze. He used the zoom to center in on the two of them. He wished he could hear their conversation. He was smiling. Even laughing! Jack’s face was grim and worried. This was awful; he almost wished he hadn’t asked to see the footage. But it was better to know, no matter how unpleasant it was to watch.

 

He saw himself remove his hand from the keyboard and focus his full attention on Jack. He was laughing again, and now Jack was looking down into the Gateroom in horror. Jack spoke to him, desperation etched on his face. And Daniel…..

 

What? Play that back again. Daniel watched closely. Jack spoke to him, and Daniel laid down his weapon and slid from his chair. Jack moved past him to the console. Daniel laid on the floor near his feet. Daniel backed the video up again. Jack said something to him, and Daniel laid down his weapon…

 

What did Jack say? Daniel rewound again and zoomed in closer on Jack’s face. He wished he could read lips. All he could read was his friend’s obvious desperation, followed seconds later by shocked surprise.

 

Daniel sat back in his chair, rewound the video to the beginning and watched it from start to finish without zooming or rewinding or pausing. Just watched events as they had unfolded. He sat thoughtfully when it was ended. Jack had never mentioned to him that he laid down his weapon before collapsing. But that just reinforced Jack’s impression that Daniel had somehow taken back control over his body. Probably didn’t mean anything that he hadn’t mentioned it. But…

 

Daniel rewound the footage once more to just before Jack’s last words were spoken to him. This time he zoomed in on his own face. He saw himself blink slowly in reaction to what he was hearing. And then he laid down his weapon. In reaction to what Jack had said to him. What other conclusion could he possibly come to? Surely Jack must have realized that’s what had happened. But he had never mentioned a word about it to Daniel. In fact he had denied having anything to do with the fact that there had been a successful outcome.

 

What did Jack say?

 

~~~~

 

Late that afternoon, Jack appeared in the doorway to Daniel’s office. “You about ready to go home?” he asked nonchalantly.

 

Distracted, Daniel stared up at him. “Umm.”

 

“You’re staying with me again tonight.”

 

“Doctor’s orders?” Daniel wanted to know.

 

“Something like that,” Jack answered with a quirky smile. “So, you about ready?”

 

“Ah, no, actually. I got a little bit behind today.”

 

“How much longer?”

 

Daniel surveyed his desk. “Hour and a half maybe.”

 

Jack shrugged. “I can wait.”

 

Daniel frowned. “I can drive myself, you know.”

 

Jack cocked his head. “Okay, that works. I can buy some groceries; start on something for supper.” He smiled.

 

“Sounds good,” Daniel told him. 

 

Jack stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You watched the security video?”

 

Daniel eyed his friend. “Yes, Jack, I left you several messages and emails about it.”

 

“Really?” Jack asked innocently. “I’ve been in meetings all day.”

 

“Really?” Daniel asked equally innocently.

 

Jack rolled his eyes and came further into the room. “You got questions for me?” he asked with resignation in his voice.

 

Daniel clicked on the minimized player and began to play the video. “I’d like to know what I was saying to you. I mean, I’m laughing sometimes…” He broke off, paused the video, and looked up at Jack hesitantly. “I hope I wasn’t saying anything - offensive?”

 

Jack shook his head. “Not that I recall. Here, let me…”   Daniel got out of his chair and Jack took over control of the playback. “Okay, here you’re telling me that the people all over the floor aren’t dead.”

 

“No wonder you look relieved,” Daniel gasped.

 

“Ya think?” Jack resumed playback. And hit pause again. “Okay, here I think you’re pointing out to me that you’re protected by a force shield, and that I can’t do a thing to stop you.”

 

“I’m laughing,” Daniel said, feeling a knot twisting inside his stomach.

 

Jack looked up at him. “I think you were kinda… high or something the whole time.”

 

“Really?” Daniel frowned. “You never told me that before.”

 

Jack shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it until now. Okay, now here you’re saying ‘Chevron One encoded.’ And you’re laughing because you always wanted to say that.” He glanced slyly up at his friend.

 

Daniel blushed. “Oh, boy. This is humiliating.”

 

Jack smiled at him gently. “We can stop,” he pointed out. Daniel shook his head vehemently, and Jack resumed playback. “Okay, the wormhole is open, and you’re sending a signal. Wormhole’s closed now. I’m asking you what you did, and you don’t know. I asked you to try to figure it out.”

 

“And I’m laughing at you,” Daniel whispered.

 

Jack paused the video again. “You weren’t being offensive. You were just…happy. You honestly didn’t have a clue what you were doing.” Daniel certainly didn’t feel happy now. He reached over Jack’s shoulder and hit play, and then pause. “Unauthorized off-world activation,” Jack said quietly. They both looked uncomfortably at the horror on Jack’s face and the laughter on Daniel’s. Daniel hit play again, and onscreen they saw Jack speak intensely, followed by Daniel laying down his weapon and sliding into unconsciousness.

 

“What did you say there, Jack?” Daniel asked softly.

 

“I asked you to help me stop what was happening,” Jack answered equally quietly.

 

Daniel blinked. “But you must have already asked me to do that?”

 

“Not exactly.” Jack twisted the chair around and faced Daniel. “I told you to stop. This time I asked you to help me stop it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Jack stood up. “You look disappointed.”

 

“No,” Daniel insisted. “I just, you know, wondered…”

 

“Sure,” Jack said easily, watching his friend’s frowning face closely. “Steaks okay?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m in the mood for steak tonight. You?”

 

“Yes, fine,” Daniel answered distractedly.

 

“I’ll let you get back to work then,” Jack told him. “Call me when you leave here, and I’ll fire up the grill.”

 

Daniel nodded silently, and Jack left the room.

 

Daniel sat down at his desk and rewound the video to the point of Jack’s last speech. He zoomed in on Jack’s face and watched his lips closely. Help me stop this. That’s what Jack supposedly said. He rewound that portion again. Yes, Jack’s lips were saying those exact words, he could see it now. But they were the last words in a longer sentence. 

 

He set about downloading the video file to his laptop. He realized he was obsessing again, but he didn’t care. Now that he had some clues to work from, he intended to give lip-reading another try.

 

He was pretty sure that Jack was keeping something back.
 

And he was determined to get at the truth.

sid.dreamwidth.org/43246.html Part Three

"If You Really Loved Me", Part 3 of 3, written April-May 2005, PG-13

Header and Part One

Part Two 

In this chapter, Daniel plays detective, and Jack plays a waiting game.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME – Part Three( Read Part Three )

Jack was working in the kitchen when his cell phone rang. He took a quick look at the caller ID before flipping the phone open. “Daniel?”

 

“Jack, yes. Hi.”

 

“Hi,” Jack responded with a smile. “Wrapping things up there?”

 

“Yes, I’m just about ready to leave,” Daniel replied.

 

The two men’s voices overlapped. “So you’ll/I’ll be home in about half an hour.”

 

“What/what?”

 

“You talk,” Jack said.

 

“I just said I’ll be home in half an hour.”

 

Home. Jack felt a warm glow. “And your steak will be hitting the plate in 35 minutes.”

 

“Good. Great. See you then.”

 

“See ya,” Jack said, and flipped his phone closed. He was smiling as he resumed his task.

 

~~~~

 

Daniel cut off another piece of steak hungrily. It was a little more well-done than he normally preferred, but it was seasoned wonderfully and was really hitting the spot. The accompanying vegetables were excellent, and Jack had even purchased a bottle of Merlot which was just perfect for the meal. He could eat like this every night. He chewed more slowly. Well, if he didn’t care about his arteries, that is.

 

As he and Jack idly conversed, Daniel found himself watching his friend’s mouth as the other man spoke. He felt more than a little guilty about working on his lip-reading skills without Jack’s knowledge. But he was determined to examine the security camera footage of the incident in the control room again tonight, and examining Jack’s speech patterns visually like this could only help.

 

“Have I got something on my face?”

 

“What?” Daniel asked, startled out of his thoughts.

 

Jack wiped at the side of his mouth with his napkin. ‘Have I got food on my face? You were staring at me.”

 

“No,” Daniel answered, feeling himself flushing. “No, I’m sorry. My mind was wandering.”

 

“To?”

 

“What?”

 

Jack smiled and cut off a bite of steak. “What was it that your mind was thinking about?”

 

“Oh.” Daniel reached for his wine glass and took a sip. “Just some work that I brought home with me.”

 

“Oh,” Jack said flatly. “I didn’t realize….I thought we’d watch a movie, maybe, or something.”

 

Daniel felt absolutely horrible. “We can do that. It’ll keep.”

 

“Really?” Jack questioned, looking much happier. “I rented a few DVDs, but we don’t have to watch anything.”

 

“Show me,” Daniel invited. 

 

~~~

 

They were nearing the end of the movie that Daniel had selected. Jack glanced sideways at his friend, and smiled. Daniel was totally into it. Jack slouched a little further down into the sofa cushions. This had been a good idea. Daniel had been tense ever since the incident in the control room, and this was a nice break for them both.

 

As he watched the action on the TV screen, Jack remembered how Daniel had watched him at the dinner table. He had a pretty good idea what that was all about. At least he hoped. His eyes gleamed with suppressed excitement.

 

~~~

 

Daniel was in the guest room, his laptop in front of him and a small mirror from the dresser close by. He had excused himself as soon as the movie had ended. About half an hour later he had heard Jack go into his own bedroom. He was still feeling very guilty about working on deciphering this video while Jack was sleeping only a few feet away. It felt like a violation of the other man’s hospitality in some way, but Daniel was unable to help himself. Jack had given him several clues when they had watched the footage together earlier in Daniel’s office at the Mountain. Now Daniel was trying to piece things together, and he was making progress.

 

But he felt like seven kinds of fool in the process. He was using the mirror to watch himself saying the things that he thought he had deciphered on the video. Thanks to Jack, he knew some of the words that had been spoken, and he was working at filling in the blanks, constructing complete sentences. It was the sort of thing that he did in his job every day, but he was used to working with a written text. Now he had to watch his own lips move and compare them to his and Jack’s mouths moving in the video. It felt bizarre.

 

He was suddenly startled by a soft tap on the door. He quickly minimized the player and closed his notebook before calling, “Come in.”

 

The door opened and Jack poked his head in. “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were awake. Still at it?”

 

Daniel was very nearly overwhelmed by the sensation of guilt he was feeling. “Umm, yeah. Uh, I thought you were asleep?”

 

“I was reading,” Jack answered, taking a step into the room. He smiled at Daniel’s expression. “Didn’t think I had it in me, did ya?” Daniel bit his lip and looked down. “Anyway, I’m getting ready to hit it, and I just thought that maybe we should leave our doors open? You know, after last night and all.”

 

“Oh,” Daniel said, surprised. He flushed slightly as he remembered how his nightmare had led him to spend the rest of the night in Jack’s bed. He firmly suppressed the memory of how pleasant it had been to awaken in Jack’s arms. “Yes, that’s fine.” He shrugged. “Probably a good idea,” he admitted.

 

Jack nodded at his friend. “Gonna work much longer?” Daniel looked at his laptop and frowned. “Whatever it is, it’ll keep, right? You should get some sleep,” Jack prodded.

 

Daniel hesitated for a second, and then began powering down the computer. “You’re right. It’ll keep.” He yawned hugely. “And I’m tired.”

 

“See ya in the morning, Danny. Sleep well,” Jack told his friend.

 

“Goodnight, Jack,” Daniel answered with a peaceful smile. Jack left the room, leaving the door open behind him. Daniel rose from his chair, stretching. Then he saw the mirror standing next to his now-closed laptop. He grimaced, wondering if Jack had seen it. What could he have thought?

 

~~~

 

Jack slid underneath the covers of his bed and reached to turn off the bedside lamp. He laid on his back and stared sleepily up towards the ceiling. He had seen the mirror next to the laptop, and he knew exactly what Daniel was doing with it. There just couldn’t be any other explanation. There was a wistful expression on his face. He had done all that he could, really. The rest was up to Daniel.

 

~~~

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this.

 

Daniel was almost awake. He thought for a moment that Jack was in the room with him. He could still hear his voice.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel sat up slowly. Was it just a dream? Or could it be a memory? Or maybe just his subconscious mind working away at a problem while he slept. He switched on the bedside lamp and blinked in pain at the flood of light. He got up and went over to his laptop.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel knew this video footage by heart now. It took only a second to reach the right point in the playback. He zoomed in on Jack’s face, focusing his gaze on Jack’s mouth.

 

If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this

 

Daniel’s jaw dropped open. He watched one more time. Then he looked at himself in the mirror and repeated the words, comparing the movement of his mouth to Jack’s mouth on the monitor. He swallowed hard. That was it. He had solved the puzzle. That was what Jack had said to him right before Daniel laid down his weapon and passed out at the other man’s feet.

 

He powered down the laptop and pushed the mirror away roughly. He couldn’t bear to look at either one any more. He saw two things immediately; one that he now understood, and one that he wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.

 

He now understood why he had been so obsessed with worrying about Jack. Each time he woke up he had been filled with concern for Jack. But that was just his conscious mind’s translation of what he had been worried about subconsciously. Jack’s reaction. All this time, Daniel’s subconscious mind had been panicking over what Jack must think of him now.

 

The second thing that Daniel saw was that Jack had kept from him the truth about what had happened. Why? He felt slightly sick just thinking of a few of the possible reasons. He stood up and started to pace around the room. After a minute or two he came to a sudden standstill. He had realized that Jack’s actions of the last few days in no way fitted the ugly picture that he was painting for himself.

 

He sank down on the side of the bed. Jack had kept things from him, maybe even lied to him. But his behavior had been nothing if not friendly. It didn’t make sense. He remembered waking up in the infirmary, Jack’s gentle assurances that everything was all right. And later… He felt his heartbeat quicken. Later, Jack may have been keeping things from him when Daniel asked what had happened, but he remembered his friend’s smile. Jack had said that he felt ‘lucky’. Very lucky.

 

Jack had taken Daniel home with him, fed him, even taken him into his bed when he had a nightmare. Those certainly were not the actions of a man who was in any way concerned about or repulsed by any feelings that might have been revealed in the control room. Maybe he had simply hoped that Daniel would never remember? Daniel clutched his head. Did that fit? He stood up abruptly and began to pace again. His footsteps led him to the open doorway. He hesitated. He looked back at the alarm clock. It was 4:42 in the morning.

 

Daniel squared his shoulders and stepped into the hallway. He was up. Jack should be up, too. He needed answers.

 

~~~

 

Jack awoke with a start when the overhead light in his bedroom came on. Daniel was crossing the floor, coming to a stop next to the bed. “I need to talk to you.”

 

Jack squinted at the clock. “Now?” he complained. Then he suddenly remembered what was going on. “Sure,” he said in a more friendly tone, sitting up. “Just give me a second to wake up a little bit.” Daniel nodded jerkily, and turned away, pacing to the door and back. As he watched his friend, Jack could see the tight rein that Daniel was keeping on his emotions. “What’d you want to talk about?” Jack asked, trying to present a calm demeanor.

 

“’If you really loved me, you’d help me stop this‘,” Daniel blurted out. Jack felt a rush of joy. Daniel had figured it out. Or remembered. He searched his friend’s face, and his happiness faded. Daniel didn’t look happy at all. “Why didn’t you tell me, Jack? I had a right to know.”

 

Jack pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed to face the other man. “I made the decision not to tell you.”

 

Daniel’s mouth thinned. He looked down at the floor. “Why?”

 

Jack looked at his friend seriously. “You were very much under the influence of that alien device in your head at the time.” Daniel raised his head, and met Jack’s eyes. “I told you that I thought you seemed like you were high, or something.” Daniel nodded. Jack nodded back. “It was obviously messing with your inhibitions. I mean, never in anything approaching your right mind would you let me know that you had always wanted to say, ‘Chevron One, encoded’, right?”

 

Daniel grimaced. “That’s true.”

 

“Right,” Jack pressed eagerly. “And,” he shrugged, “you’re entitled to your inhibitions. Everyone is. And whether your normal inhibitions had kept you from… realizing certain feelings, or just from sharing them….well, either way I didn’t feel that it was my place to interfere.”

 

“Telling me the truth would have been interfering?” Daniel bit out.

 

“I couldn’t be the one to put the idea in your head,” Jack sighed. “I just couldn’t see any good outcome to that scenario.”

 

Daniel blinked at him a few times. “What do you mean?”

 

Jack suddenly found his bedroom carpet fascinating. “Well, are feelings really real if someone tells you that you have them, rather than you figuring it out for yourself? How could either of us ever be sure?” Daniel’s jaw dropped slightly. Jack glanced up at him, and Daniel tried to school his features. “You might resent me telling you, you might want to deny the whole thing. Hell, I couldn’t even be sure that they ever were real feelings. Coulda been some weird-ass side effect of that microchip.”

 

“You wanted them to be real feelings,” Daniel realized, dumbstruck.

 

“Yeah,” Jack admitted uncomfortably.

 

Daniel stared at him. “Why? Do you….?” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

 

“Yeah, I do,” Jack said quietly. “For a long time now.”

 

“A long…” Daniel looked like he was going into shock. “How long?”

 

“Practically since you came back from Abydos,” Jack confessed.

 

Daniel’s eyes widened. “That’s, that’s seven years!”

 

Jack shrugged. “I was trying to comfort a man, one who was becoming a friend, whose wife had been taken from him.” His eyes were fixed intently on Daniel’s bare feet. “And all the time, I was…” He gestured with one hand.

 

“You were what?” Daniel could feel himself holding his breath, waiting for the answer.

 

“You know. Falling.” Jack managed to choke the word out somehow, and peered up at Daniel cautiously.

 

“I need to sit down,” Daniel said in a voice that sounded very far-away to his own ears. Jack was beside him in a second, taking his arm and hurrying him to the bed. The two men sat down side-by-side and Jack took Daniel’s hand in his, feeling for his pulse. Daniel’s wide eyes stared at Jack’s fingers resting on the inside of his wrist. “I’m okay,” he said in mild protest, but he made no effort to pull away.

 

“How do you feel?” Jack asked anxiously.

 

Daniel met Jack’s eyes and felt another faint wave of dizziness. He couldn’t tear his gaze away. “I haven’t had time to think about that yet,” he answered.

 

Jack blinked. “Okay, not what I was asking, exactly, but we can go with that if you want to.”

 

Daniel was still staring into Jack’s concerned eyes. “I spent too much time wondering why you hadn’t told me.”

 

“Now you know.”

 

“Yeah, now I know. Oh, and I figured out why I was so worried about you, you know, every time I woke up.”

 

Jack glanced down to where Daniel’s fingers were curling around his hand. “Did you? Because that really had me stumped.” Jack slid his fingers off of Daniel’s wrist, until their two hands were loosely clasped. He looked back up to meet his friend’s eyes.

 

“I was really worried deep down about what you must think of me. But all I knew when I woke up was that I was frantic, and that it had something to do with you.”

 

Jack cleared his throat. “You’ve wasted a lot of time worrying.”

 

“I can see that now,” Daniel said softly. Jack’s thumb stroked Daniel’s wrist gently.

 

“So, do you want to take some time now, to think about how you feel?” Daniel gave a tiny shake of his head. Jack could feel his own pulse starting to race. He examined Daniel’s face carefully, noting the flush on his cheeks, the parting of his lips. He looked into Daniel’s eyes. Poor guy still looked stunned. It was a good look on him. Jack felt his desire growing. 

 

Jack leaned closer, eyes focused on the other man’s mouth. Daniel gasped, and Jack zeroed in on his target. He kissed him. They were kissing. Daniel’s grip on Jack’s hand tightened and Jack squeezed back eagerly. He deliberately kept the kiss chaste, sensing that Daniel was more frightened than excited at this point. When he finally lifted his head and pulled away from the other man, Daniel’s face was very flushed, and his dazed eyes seemed to be a deeper blue than normal. “You okay?” Jack whispered.

 

Daniel nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Jack’s mouth. The sensation of those lips pressed against his was one that he missed already. “Are you going to do that again?” he asked hopefully.

 

“Nope.” The thin, mobile lips parted in a grin. Daniel looked up at Jack in confusion.

 

What he saw in Jack’s eyes reassured him. “Oh, it must be my turn, then?” The delight on his friend’s face filled him with satisfaction. He reached out for Jack, pulling him into his arms. He knew how to kiss. He was good at it. He could do this. He claimed Jack’s mouth with confidence.

 

Jack was experiencing some new sensations. He was in Daniel’s arms. Daniel was pressing him close, kissing him with intensity. Jack moaned, and felt his friend’s hand stroke up and down his back soothingly. Jack was melting. He felt the tip of Daniel’s tongue touching his mouth inquisitively. He parted his lips and Daniel accepted his invitation, thrusting in deep. Jack moaned again. Damn, Daniel was good at this!

 

Jack got swept up in the excitement of the moment and pushed Daniel over onto his back, following him down to the mattress, never losing contact with that sweet, talented mouth. Jack was half sprawled atop Daniel, his growing erection pressing into the other man’s thigh. He growled into Daniel’s mouth, feasting on the taste that was filling his senses. And then he realized that Daniel was no longer participating.

 

Daniel had found himself unprepared for the sensation of Jack’s weight atop his body. He was having trouble breathing. He unwrapped his arms from around Jack’s body and clutched at his shoulders. He didn’t want to push him away, it was just…

 

Jack lifted his head. “Too much?” he worried. Daniel nodded breathlessly. Jack sat up quickly. “Sorry,” he grimaced.

 

“No, I’m sorry,” Daniel said, looking adorably flustered. “I guess maybe I do need a little more time to think about this. You know, give it some time to sink in.”

 

“Sure,” Jack smiled down at him gently. “After all, I’ve had years to think about how I feel, and a few days now to think about what you might be feeling. I don’t want you to feel rushed.” Daniel blinked up at him. “We just need to slow things down, right?” Daniel opened his mouth, and yawned hugely. “Yeah, we should maybe just slow things down,” Jack teased, while Daniel looked suitably sheepish. Jack stood up and began tugging at the bedclothes. “Get under the covers.”

 

Daniel slid under the covers and moved over to make room for Jack. He remembered doing the same thing the previous night, but what a difference a day could make! His entire body felt as though it were glowing. Jack crossed the room to turn off the overheard light, and then climbed into the bed. As Jack laid down beside him, Daniel turned to him and said, “I don’t need to look for the warm spot tonight.” 

 

For some reason, Jack found that to be one of the most romantic things he had ever heard. He drew closer. “I’ll be yours, if you’ll be mine,” he growled. Daniel nodded happily, and Jack kissed him, hard. When he broke the kiss, Jack scooted down until he could lay his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack. He remembered how good he had felt that morning, waking up in Jack’s arms. Falling asleep with Jack in his arms promised to feel even better. His grip tightened convulsively.

 

“Hey!” Jack protested mildly.

 

“Sorry,” Daniel said. “I was just thinking. I mean, it’s been less than 24 hours since I woke up in this room, and…everything’s changed. It’s kind of overwhelming.”

 

“You learned a new language, for one thing,” Jack chuckled.

 

“What?” Daniel said, puzzled.

 

“Lip-reading?” Jack suggested.

 

“Oh, that’s more like a skill than a language,” Daniel replied. 

 

“You’re the expert,” Jack shrugged, sliding his hand up underneath Daniel’s T-shirt. He felt his friend quiver at his touch. “Too much?” Jack questioned gently, stilling his hand with an effort.

 

“No,” Daniel replied, exhaling gustily. “Or, at least, only in the ‘too good to be true’ sense.” He stroked a tentative hand through Jack’s hair, which produced an audible response from the other man. “Did you just purr?” he laughed. Jack scratched gently at Daniel’s stomach. “Ahhh, okay, you have claws, too. Got it.”

 

“You think this is all too good to be true?” Jack asked, an idea forming in his devious mind.

 

Daniel’s hand stroked Jack’s head again. “Kind of,” he admitted.

 

Jack pushed Daniel’s T-shirt up and out of the way, and began to move his forefinger in deliberate patterns on Daniel’s skin. Daniel grew still beneath his touch. Jack smiled. He could practically hear Daniel’s brain engaging.

 

Daniel felt a wave of delight. “Are you trying to teach me another new language, Jack?” he questioned.

 

“More of a skill than a language,” Jack answered. “Are you getting my message?”

 

Daniel whispered, “Tell me again.”

 

Jack slowly traced his message, letter by letter, on Daniel’s smooth skin. I T ‘ S   T R U E.

 

Daniel didn’t think it was possible to be any happier. “It’s really true,” he sighed.

 

Jack tugged Daniel’s T-shirt back into place and relaxed into his friend’s embrace, insufferably pleased with himself. Daniel stroked his hair again, and Jack didn’t even try to hold back his purr of contentment. He closed his eyes and began to drift towards sleep.

 

“Jack,” Daniel said quietly.

 

“Daniel?”

 

Pause. “When we wake up?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Long pause. “Yes.”

 

Jack felt a slow shiver of excitement running down the length of his spine. “Sweet,” he breathed. 

 

THE END

And here is the quote from janedavitt that sent me running to find this story:  "I have A Thing about 'we love each other' followed seconds later by boinkage. It's an intermittent thing; sometimes I embrace it but sometimes I like to think there'd be a pause and the idea of them slowly working up to actual sex over days, even weeks, is kind of yummy..."

Does overnight count?  *g*
~~~~

Sequel: sid.dreamwidth.org/298224.html