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sidYay! The muse actually spoke as I was reading a fic. :-)
Separation Anxiety
Jack, it turns out, is all about the oral. Giving head and giving it well. Astoundingly well.
Daniel’s immensely gratified to be the recipient of Jack’s innate talent, make no mistake, but he’s none too happy about the rest of it. Because Jack doesn’t let Daniel return the favor, doesn’t let Daniel so much as touch him. Jack disappears into the bathroom and attends to matters himself, leaving Daniel limp, confused and a little hurt. Casual sex doesn’t work this way, in his somewhat limited experience. Jack’s friendship continues to be… friendly, maybe even a little more so, but Daniel feels more and more shut out just the same.
“Why won’t you let me?” he finally asks, when he thinks they’ve been doing this long enough that maybe Jack won’t kick him out on his ear.
Jack twitches. “Because we shouldn’t even be doing this much.”
Daniel thinks about it a minute. “Okay. Isn’t this backwards then?”
Jack’s face scrunches up. “What?”
“If I were the one sucking you, you could say that something was being done to you, that you weren’t doing anything.” Daniel watches Jack carefully. “It seems like it would be more of a macho, Air Force-type thing if you weren’t, you know, being… penetrated.”
Jack gives him a hard, cold stare. “I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing. Do you have a problem with that?”
Daniel blinks. “No, I… well, hardly!”
The muscles around Jack’s eyes relax.
“I totally enjoy what you do to me. You… actually you have no idea.”
“Oh, I have some,” Jack says, with briefest and faintest of smirks.
Daniel huffs air through his nose, acknowledging that his reactions don’t tend to be any secret. Or any too quiet. “It’s just….”
“And I enjoy it, too,” Jack interrupts, more loudly than necessary.
“Of course you do. I know… you wouldn’t….” Daniel frowns.
“Sometimes I jerk off before you come over,” Jack says, looking away. “To make sure I last.”
Daniel feels his eyes widen and his jaw drop. This is Jack, laying himself bare.
Jack gestures abruptly with his hand, still not looking at Daniel.
Daniel gives himself a shake, pulling his thoughts together. “Um, would that be so bad?” he asks. “If you came while…?” He finds himself gesturing with both hands. “I mean, I wouldn’t have to touch you. I wouldn’t even look, if you didn’t want. I could close my eyes. But you could….”
Jack purses his lips and blows air through them.
Daniel bites his own lip.
“I hate these kinds of conversations,” Jack says, finally meeting Daniel’s gaze.
Daniel hastily forces himself to look shocked.
Jack snorts, but shifts his weight uncomfortably.
“Look, it’s just….” Daniel squeezes his eyes shut briefly and sighs. “If we’re going to keep having sex together, it would be nice to do it in the same room occasionally. That’s all.”
Jack grimaces, but there’s something in his expression that gives Daniel room for hope.
“You’ll think about it?”
There’s a long pause.
Jack looks him directly in the eye. “Yes.”
Daniel’s mouth wants to shape itself into a smile, hovers on the brink, but Daniel is frozen in the moment. His eyes can’t look away, his brain can’t issue commands or formulate coherent thoughts, his limbs are useless. He can’t speak. He can barely breathe.
Only his heart, for the first time in more than two years, is fully alive and functional as it opens to accept the gift it senses is being offered.
Daniel stares into Jack’s trusting eyes and feels himself falling.
Separation Anxiety
Jack, it turns out, is all about the oral. Giving head and giving it well. Astoundingly well.
Daniel’s immensely gratified to be the recipient of Jack’s innate talent, make no mistake, but he’s none too happy about the rest of it. Because Jack doesn’t let Daniel return the favor, doesn’t let Daniel so much as touch him. Jack disappears into the bathroom and attends to matters himself, leaving Daniel limp, confused and a little hurt. Casual sex doesn’t work this way, in his somewhat limited experience. Jack’s friendship continues to be… friendly, maybe even a little more so, but Daniel feels more and more shut out just the same.
“Why won’t you let me?” he finally asks, when he thinks they’ve been doing this long enough that maybe Jack won’t kick him out on his ear.
Jack twitches. “Because we shouldn’t even be doing this much.”
Daniel thinks about it a minute. “Okay. Isn’t this backwards then?”
Jack’s face scrunches up. “What?”
“If I were the one sucking you, you could say that something was being done to you, that you weren’t doing anything.” Daniel watches Jack carefully. “It seems like it would be more of a macho, Air Force-type thing if you weren’t, you know, being… penetrated.”
Jack gives him a hard, cold stare. “I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing. Do you have a problem with that?”
Daniel blinks. “No, I… well, hardly!”
The muscles around Jack’s eyes relax.
“I totally enjoy what you do to me. You… actually you have no idea.”
“Oh, I have some,” Jack says, with briefest and faintest of smirks.
Daniel huffs air through his nose, acknowledging that his reactions don’t tend to be any secret. Or any too quiet. “It’s just….”
“And I enjoy it, too,” Jack interrupts, more loudly than necessary.
“Of course you do. I know… you wouldn’t….” Daniel frowns.
“Sometimes I jerk off before you come over,” Jack says, looking away. “To make sure I last.”
Daniel feels his eyes widen and his jaw drop. This is Jack, laying himself bare.
Jack gestures abruptly with his hand, still not looking at Daniel.
Daniel gives himself a shake, pulling his thoughts together. “Um, would that be so bad?” he asks. “If you came while…?” He finds himself gesturing with both hands. “I mean, I wouldn’t have to touch you. I wouldn’t even look, if you didn’t want. I could close my eyes. But you could….”
Jack purses his lips and blows air through them.
Daniel bites his own lip.
“I hate these kinds of conversations,” Jack says, finally meeting Daniel’s gaze.
Daniel hastily forces himself to look shocked.
Jack snorts, but shifts his weight uncomfortably.
“Look, it’s just….” Daniel squeezes his eyes shut briefly and sighs. “If we’re going to keep having sex together, it would be nice to do it in the same room occasionally. That’s all.”
Jack grimaces, but there’s something in his expression that gives Daniel room for hope.
“You’ll think about it?”
There’s a long pause.
Jack looks him directly in the eye. “Yes.”
Daniel’s mouth wants to shape itself into a smile, hovers on the brink, but Daniel is frozen in the moment. His eyes can’t look away, his brain can’t issue commands or formulate coherent thoughts, his limbs are useless. He can’t speak. He can barely breathe.
Only his heart, for the first time in more than two years, is fully alive and functional as it opens to accept the gift it senses is being offered.
Daniel stares into Jack’s trusting eyes and feels himself falling.
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(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 06:20 am (UTC)Daniel hastily forces himself to look shocked.
OMG I laughed out loud! So true. HEE!
But, oh, the end. MY HEART!
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 02:47 pm (UTC)I didn't know how it was going to end. I was all set to write 'Daniel smiled.' But then he didn't!
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 12:30 pm (UTC)Well, I think that's the understatement of the year! *g*
Very nice and also a little bit heartbreaking - but I'm sure after this much needed conversation and that last "Yes", things are going to get better.
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 02:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 12:43 pm (UTC)*snorts*
Ah boys, so ackward and so cute. Would love to read more.... ;)
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 02:53 pm (UTC)I will ponder whether there might be more lurking in the back of my mind.
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 01:12 pm (UTC)oh i love this. they are so fucked up.
and you have such a wonderful knack for the short fic; i don't even need the setup when it's like this.
YOU ROCK OMG. *fans self*
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 10:59 am (UTC)A little bit of heaven. So them, such terrific dialogue, and so much hope for the future.
If I wasn't old and decrepit, I'd offer to have your babies.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC)You can have my imaginary babies! They do nothing but look adorable, smell good, and sleep a lot. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 04:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 04:39 pm (UTC)Gurgling, burbling and smiling are givens. :-)
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 08:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC)However, he is not blind. *g* I think we can imagine what he's fantasizing about during those jerk-off sessions. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)Deeds xx
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 04:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 9th, 2011 11:29 pm (UTC)Monkey :)
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 10th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Feb. 18th, 2011 10:21 pm (UTC)Love this line:
Daniel squeezes his eyes shut briefly and sighs. “If we’re going to keep having sex together, it would be nice to do it in the same room occasionally.”
So happy for us that your muse spoke to you!!
(no subject)
Date: Feb. 19th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC)Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: Jun. 29th, 2011 01:48 am (UTC)Oh Sid.
That last line is a killer. Beautifully done, my dear.
*kisses fingertips in your general direction*
(no subject)
Date: Jun. 29th, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)Thank you so much!