DVD commentary on "In Vino Veritas"

[sid]

That drabble I wrote last night just haunted me after I went to bed.  So I decided to try my hand at a DVD commentary-type investigation into the undercurrents and layers and complexity...

Did I mention it was a drabble?

I have to try doing a DVD commentary on this, because I want to work through the different thoughts and speculations that this drabble produces in me. I always hated analyzing things in English class, but this is one time I think I can get past that. And it's only 100 words, so I should be able to manage it!

I suppose it all started because I really didn't need that last Mango Martini last night. *g* And that led to thoughts of drunkenness and J/D:

IN VINO VERITAS 

 The title came last. That's usually the case when I write a drabble. This one came to me fairly quickly, so I don't remember really considering and rejecting anything else.

Daniel was drunk. Floppy and sloppy. Laughter, heavy leaning. Before the movie was over, his hand was on Jack's thigh.

The original two sentences, trimmed for length, were 'He was drunk, but Daniel was drunker. Jack still had some control, but Daniel was floppy and sloppy.' I imagine most readers would assume that Jack had been drinking, too. I don't think the fact that he's downright tipsy makes much difference here. The fact that he still has some control might be very important, however. In hindsight.  

Jack turned off the TV. Daniel looked down at his hand and said, "Oh, hey." Jack just laughed and plopped his hand down on Daniel's knee, expecting a giggle. But Daniel turned towards him with unfocused eyes, and said, "Love you. Oh, shouldn't said that."

So. Jack's got no problem with snuggly!Daniel and hands on legs. I notice Daniel isn’t actually removing his hand. Hmm. He blurts out his feelings, and immediately backs away from the statement. He’s obviously talking about more than love of a friend, and doesn’t think it’s something Jack wants to be told.

"Love you back," Jack said easily.

Well, they both love each other - that’s established anyway! What is up with this “easily”? Trying to soothe Daniel, trying to sound calm and relaxed? Or drunk enough to really feel perfectly okay with these declarations? Or...was he anticipating this exchange? :-O

"'S'not same," Daniel slurred, and began to move away.

Yes, he’s obviously convinced that Jack does not share his feelings. Dunno if he’s moving away because he’s upset, or because he thinks Jack can’t really want him snuggling up the way he is.

“All love is good.” Jack pulled Daniel close. “Right?”

Who’s he trying to convince? Is he telling himself that Daniel’s love for him is a good thing, or is he telling Daniel that it doesn’t matter that they’re not on the same page? Is he soothing Daniel again with the hugging, or is it that he likes/needs the physical closeness? Or, he could very well be covering up his true feelings. Yes, he could!

“‘kay.” Daniel nestled contentedly.

Didn’t take much to get him to forget about pulling away! Or, was he counting on Jack stopping him? :-O

He would forget by morning. Jack wouldn’t.

Well, now! Is this based on prior experience? Has Daniel done this before? Is this going to be a fond memory for Jack, or a burden that he has to carry alone? *meep* 

And you know what? I think there’s a real possibility that this whole thing was planned. I wouldn’t put it past Jack to deliberately get Daniel drunk, just so he can have a cuddle, and hear that he’s loved, without being compromised in any way (since Daniel will have amnesia in the morning). But I don’t think he’d ever do that unless he returned those feelings. He might give in to neediness, but he wouldn’t just act selfishly.

On the other hand, Daniel could be getting up his courage by drinking too much. Maybe he remembers in the morning, maybe he doesn’t. But he gets to express his love, and snuggle up to the object of his affection.

Too much analysis of an itty bitty drabble? Probably :-D

I did uncover one revelation in this process that isn’t pure speculation. Whatever else is going on here, Jack is okay with Daniel being in love with him and saying so. If this has happened before, Jack could have put a stop to movie nights, or at least drunken ones, if he wanted to avoid a repetition. If he’s manipulating Daniel, then he not only is okay with hearing it, he needs to hear it. And if this is the first time it’s happened, his reaction tells the story.

This was fun! Whee!!

Comments

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I might have to vote for the possibility that Jack has heard this before, or at least isn't surprised, and wants to be able to act on it, but won't. I think the fact that he didn't start it, but he continues it or encourages it says that he reciprocates the feelings. The last lines imply that Jack is unlikely to make the next move, so maybe he's letting Daniel have something of him, or maybe he's hoping that Daniel will remember, or at least remember enough to feel comforted by it, but doesn't intend to let it go further.

Wonder if it won't go further because of Jack's personal barriers or because of regs. I'm tempted to think that Jack would break the regs if he didn't agree with them in spirit, so it makes me feel like this is in the category of 'Jack is extremely repressed' slash fiction. Have you read raqs' Complicated? Like that. It's an awesome sub-genre.

Thanks! And you did write more in the commentary than the entire drabble itself, but I might have had trouble with a full paragraph of feedback on only 100 words. *g*

[sid]

I find it so very peculiar that I can write a fic, however short, finish it, post it, and only then start to wonder "What the hell was all that about?"

I may need to do a sequel to this drabble someday. Just take everybody's opinions and see what rings truest to me. Or maybe just dash something off, and wind up saying, "Oh, now what's going on>"

I can't remember if I've read "Complicated". I'll look it up, thanks! :-) And thanks for the fb! *smooshes you*