'Nightscape', J/D, rated R

[sid]

Late Season One, Jack and Daniel, rated R, 935 words.

Thank you to ivorygates for her lovely beta work!

NIGHTSCAPE

Dark, so dark. Faith lost, hope gone.

Useless.

Hot tears roll down his cheeks. His body feels weak.

Breathing slows, consciousness fades. Let it end. He's so tired.

~~~~

He's swimming. Cool water slides over his naked flesh, and he kicks, enjoying the sensations. He's in a pool, an endless pool. He swims around a turn and the pool stretches on, glinting in the sunlight. Water streams behind him as his legs splay and twist.

Hands glide over his wet skin. Damp kisses press against his lips. Brown eyes laugh behind spiky lashes, sun sparkling everywhere. He touches back, half afraid. Hard, smooth and rough, slick with water.

He's lying beside the pool now, and the sun's rays warm his body. But the hands that are touching him feel clammy, like damp bathing trunks. He squirms; he doesn't want this touch.

The sun beats down in waves of heat. Then why are Jack's hands so cold?

~~~~

Sha're is going about her domestic chores. He watches as she prepares to make bread, using the yaphetta flour that he has finally learned how to grind properly. A tall figure comes between her and the sun, casting a dark shadow. He looks up, worried, but relaxes when he sees that it's Jack.

Sha're is rising. She takes Jack's hands in her own and calls him 'husband'. Her smile entices as she pulls him inside. Daniel follows, because, after all, she's his wife.

Sha're and Jack are naked together, coupling unhurriedly. Daniel crouches down beside them, wanting to be part of it. Jack doesn't look at him, looks only at Sha're, watching her skin flush with pleasure, her lips part with tiny gasps.

But Sha're sees him, stretches out her arm and takes Daniel's hand. Smiling at him lovingly, she presses his palm against Jack's heaving chest. Jack turns his head, oh so slowly, and meets Daniel's eyes.

There is a hush. The air is painfully sweet.

Jack's eyes speak of secrets yet to be revealed. Daniel burns.

~~~~

He is working on a translation. He writes in his notebook. The words are building-blocks. The language grows, each word adding to the structure that is taking shape on his desktop. Buildings; a city. A culture. It covers more and more of his desk, and there is no longer enough room for his notebook, which shrinks until it's too small to write in anymore.

His clothing is gone now, and he writes on his bare skin. His flesh is covered with symbols and meaning. Sam crouches down beside him, reading what he has written on his left hip. "That's not for you," he admonishes her gently.

She simply smiles and offers her arm, sleeve rolled up high and tight around her bicep. He writes on it carefully, using the lightest of pressures, aware of wide blue eyes watching him with fascination.

When the arm is filled with his work, he takes her other arm and unbuttons the cuff of her sleeve. Slowly, he rolls the fabric upwards, uncovering her, inch by inch.

~~~~

The wind is so loud. Clouds scud rapidly across the face of the moon, concealing and revealing, concealing and revealing. He lies on his stomach at the edge of the cliff. The ledge below him is crumbling away as he watches. He can't possibly save them both.

"I'm sorry!" he cries out to Teal'c, but the wind carries his words away.

Teal'c's face shows no fear. "You must do as your heart demands, DanielJackson," he shouts. Moonbeams shine on his gold tattoo, casting an eerie glow, revealing his solemn eyes.

Daniel is reaching for the other man when the ledge gives way beneath Teal’c. He weeps in gratitude for the noise of the wind that prevents him from hearing any sounds that Teal’c might make as he falls.

He pulls Apophis to safety.

~~~~

“Daniel? C’mon, wake up.”

Daniel’s eyes flew open. “Jack?” he gasped.

“Yeah.” A hand patted his shoulder. “Sounded like you were having a pretty bad dream.”

Daniel sat up and pulled his pack closer, fumbling in it for a handkerchief. “Pretty bad,” he agreed, fighting down an hysterical urge to laugh.

Jack sank down onto his bedroll and began to remove his boots. “Wanna talk about it?”

Daniel wiped his nose, and sniffed. “Teal’c died. I couldn’t save him,” he said flatly, tasting the lie in his mouth. He had sacrificed Teal’c for the possibility of information that would lead to his wife.

Jack placed his boots neatly and precisely, and stretched out on the ground. “Actually, he just took over the watch from me,” he said, sounding drowsy already. “So, go back to sleep, Daniel, and try to dream something a little nicer, huh?”

“Okay,” Daniel agreed. He laid back down and wriggled into a comfortable position. He could try.

~~~~

It’s so dark in the bar that he can barely see. The beer is tasteless, but cold, and he is thirsty. He drinks it gratefully.

The piano is just barely out of tune, but the jazz is good. He lets the music wash over him, and he is wonderfully content. Glasses clink in the background and voices murmur, as unseen patrons share the evening’s pleasures with him.

A song ends and applause ripples through the room, but Daniel can’t join in. He peers down through the inky blackness at the man who is asleep against his shoulder, and tightens the grip of his arm around his softly snoring friend.

~~~~

“Jack,” Daniel murmurs in his sleep.

But Jack is traversing the nightscape of his own dreams, and he doesn’t hear.

THE END

Comments

[paian]

Beautiful! Really beautiful. Love the writing, the atmosphere, the details, the insights into Daniel's mind.

[sid]

Thank you very much! That means a lot, coming from you. :-)

It's something quite different for me, and I'm astonished with the way it came out.

[taselby.livejournal.com]

This is lovely and achy. Thank you.

[sid]

So very glad you enjoyed it.

[ivorygates]

I do love this piece! Even though nothing bad happens, it's achy and tense, and you really see what a minefield Daniel's mind is even on, you know, an ordinary day with peanuts. As it were.

Brava, maestra!

[sid]

*smooches you* It's all shiny because you helped polish it! :-)

There is even actually a happy ending of sorts here. Things aren't perfect, but Daniel finds contentment with Jack beside him. *sighs sappily*

[ivorygates]

Iconnn!

And it hardly needed any polishing at all because it was filled with awesome just to begin with!

Yeah, I would say this is moving toward the ending of happy. *g* While things aren't perfect in Daniel World yet, he has Jack's support and is moving toward a position where he can navigate his own emotional landscape in relative safety, so....

[sid]

So, even though the beer is tasteless, and the piano is out of tune, Daniel is grateful for the things he does have. :-)

[ivorygates]

Yeahhhhh..... *g*

[execknowitall.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is just breathtaking and beautiful. Have I mentioned lately how much I lurve you? *hugs*

[sid]

You may have mentioned it. But I'll never get tired of hearing it. ;-)

Thank you.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Very interesting. I really liked it. Thanks.

[sid]

I'm happy you liked it! Thanks right backatcha!

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

This is wonderfully realistically surreal, if that makes sense, and yet very true to Daniel's loyalties.

[sid]

Does that mean you can tell that I started "writing" this while trying to fall asleep? I had to get up and go to the PC, because I was sure to have lost it by morning.

Jack has become terribly important in Daniel's life, but Sha're is still his focus. His subconscious probably struggles with this stuff regularly. Gah!!

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Well it did smack of either Morpheus or morphine. ;-)

[sid]

I plead the 5th.

[irana.livejournal.com]

Wow. You amaze me with the way you write them. This was beautiful.

[sid]

Thank you very much. I'm really pleased with this story. :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Oh, that is freaky and creepy like dreams often are. Poor Daniel, he had to be just torn apart for a while there; makes sense that his subconscious would complain about it. I liked Jack's no nonesense approach to bad dreams, not dismissive, but reassuring nonetheless. Like that Daniel sleeps better when Jack is near.

Wow, that's pretty surreal for you, Sid! Cool. I liked muchly.

[sid]

Thank you! It is quite a departure for me, isn't it? Daniel's subconscious is one helluva place to visit. *shakes head in amazement*

So is mine, apparently. It was only after I wrote this that I found all the underlying patterns and meanings that somehow snuck in when I wasn't looking. Must try to write when I'm 2/3rds asleep more often! :-D

[sorcha-gaia.livejournal.com]

Ooo. Nice little piece, lady. *hands over the crown of the Queen of Angst* I think you'll need that for a bit. :)

[sid]

*accepts crown gingerly* Thank you?

:-D

Early-season Daniel is a treasure trove of angst and conflict. I guess I've avoided him until now due to the lack of hawt sexin'. Silly me!

[sorcha-gaia.livejournal.com]

Well, I seem to be wearing the Cheezy Hat of Sappy Romance right now, so you get to wear the Queen of Angst crown. :)

As for lack of hawt sex? Are you NUTS? SMOKIN' with the HAWT and RIFE with the SEX. *grinning*

[sid]

Who knew? :-D

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

this is beautiful and it so works. i love how you show us what HAPPENED, and yet it's about what he THINKS/FEELS.

just really masterful. thank you.

[sid]

*blushes* Thank you! I don't feel I can honestly take a lot of credit for any masterful touches. Well, I suppose my subconscious can take the credit. *looks indecisive* Okay, I'll pass the kind words along. :-)

[angels-slayer.livejournal.com]

Awsome, the beauty of it was breathtaking. well done

[sid]

I'm glad that you liked it. I'm really pleased with the way it turned out!

:-)

[sulien77.livejournal.com]

Strange, disquieting and wonderful all at the same time! I loved this, thanks for sharing it. :-)

[sid]

Dreams can be so weird, and Daniel's subconscious is a pretty scary place. mine, too

You're welcome! :-)

[starting-gate.livejournal.com]

Very different from your other stories I've read, it's cool you can do something so haunting like this.

When Daniel's asleep his dreams are all over the place, being a genius can be painful even while sleeping. I especially liked the sharing of Sha're and the saving of Apophis. Would love to hear how his conscious mind deals with those dreams.

Enjoyed it!

[sid]

It really is a departure for me from more straightforward story-telling. Most of this just sprang out of nowhere. I consciously decided that Teal'c needed to make an appearance, and, sadly, he disappeared soon afterward. :-D But that segued neatly into the dialogue scene, which I hadn't even planned to write.

This totally wrote itself. *scratches head*

[kuonji14.livejournal.com]

oh, very nice. The dream sequences were quite believable. I particularly liked the Teal'c vs Apophis one, ouch! :)

[sid]

I sat staring at my computer screen, reading what I had written so far and wondering what came next. And I realized that there was no Teal'c, and there had to be some Teal'c.

But don't ask me how Apophis turned up! :-)