sid: (U.N.C.L.E. partners)
[personal profile] sid
These are for [personal profile] delphia2000
PG to R

We've got Three Things for the Magnificent Seven, One Thing for The Man from U.N.C.L.E, and One Thing for The Sentinel.  And I'm pretty durn pleased with myself, never having written any of these fandoms before.  

(I take that back.  I wrote MFU in grade school.  :-)  Until my 6th grade teacher put his foot down, because a lot of kids were doing it.  I think the one I wrote had something to do with torture, involving constant playing of a recording of Row, Row, Row Your Boat.  Foreshadowing of Urgo?)

Three ways one of the Magnificent Seven cowboys discovered they had feelings for another of the group

1. When J.D. drilled a hole in the bad guy before he could get a second bullet into Buck, and then dropped to his knees beside him, Buck saw such fury in the kid’s eyes that he was downright astonished. The look rapidly faded to anxiety and fear as he tried to assess Buck’s condition. “I’m okay,” Buck said. But J.D. said he’d be the judge of that, and he wouldn’t stop poking at him until Buck grabbed hold of his hand and held on tight. “J.D.,” Buck said softly. And some of what he was feeling must’ve been showing on his face, because the kid’s jaw dropped and his eyes got big and round as saucers.

2. Was he jealous or something? Didn’t make a lick of sense. Buck and Chris were friends going way back, and it was natural that they’d got a sort of easiness between them. That was nothing to go getting stupid over. He liked Wilmington just fine. So why, when he saw Buck with his arm thrown around Chris’ shoulder, and the two of them laughing to beat all, why did he always hanker to punch Buck right in the nose? No, he didn’t get it.

Then, one day, when he was watching them, he imagined himself in Buck’s place, with Chris’ fine, strong body pressed up against his side, and Chris’ eyes laughing into his.

And then Vin got it.

3. One minute he and Chris were walking down the street, talking in a most satisfactorily friendly manner, and the next he might as well not have been even on the same planet. All of Chris’ attention was focused on that insipid Mary Travis. Well, perhaps insipid was an unfair term to use in describing her, since she apparently had feistiness to spare. Uninteresting, then.

So morally upright. Not his type of female by any stretch of the imagination. And encumbered with a brat, and the memory of a late and lamented husband to be measured up against. He personally didn’t see the attraction. Easy enough on the eyes, to be sure, but overall a nuisance, as demonstrated by the present situation.

Ezra folded his arms over his chest, pinned a false smile on his face, and waited for the tea-party to break up. As he waited, he plotted ways and means to rectify this injustice. Fascination was part of his stock in trade, and it was only a matter of finding the right hook. He’d leave Mary Travis in the dust.

~~~~


One way that Illya and Napoleon misused their official U.N.C.L.E. handcuffs

The Hornier Than Hell Affair

Act I ...you’re looking particularly lovely today, Mr. Kuryakin

Napoleon and Illya flirt. Mr. Waverly calls them to his office, and tells them that they have received word that THRUSH has a dangerous new drug. They’re going to Bombay. They flirt on the plane. They flirt at the airport. Leaving the airport, they are both struck on the back of the head.

Act II ...you took your time getting here

Napoleon wakes up alone. He opens Channel D to let Waverly know that his lover, er, Illya is missing. He does spy type things, and locates his partner. Yes! Partner! That’s a safe word to use; he’s got to remember that. He rescues Illya, who is a trifle cranky, but what can you expect from a Russian? THRUSH has flown the coop, but Illya overheard where they were going. They arrange a flight to Lisbon.

Act III ...this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into

Safely arrived in Lisbon, after flirting on the plane, Illya dons a disguise and goes undercover to infiltrate THRUSH’s nest. Naturally, he is found out and captured. Rather quickly in fact. It’s awfully hard for a blond Russian to look Portuguese. Napoleon to the rescue. Naturally, he is captured as well. The OTT THRUSH baddie is perfectly willing to let them know about the new drug, since he plans to kill them both anyway. He will let Mr. Kuryakin experience it firsthand.

Act IV ...yes, Illya! Harder!

Did you guess? Yes! The new drug is an aphrodisiac. Illya is now hard enough to hammer nails, and frantic to get naked with Napoleon. His frenzied lust enables him to break his bonds, knock out the bad guy and his cohort, and stick his tongue down his lover’s throat. They quickly decide that handcuffing the baddies to a sturdy pipe will enable them to sneak into the next room and screw like bunnies.

Sometime Later

Sated and content, they notify Mr. Waverly of the success of their mission, and, after destroying the drug and all the lab notes appertaining thereunto, they board an U.N.C.L.E. jet for New York.

At this point, they’re too tired to even flirt.

~~~~

One way Jim's super senses caused friction between he and Blair while off-duty 

As soon as Blair entered the loft, Jim smelled it. And his blood began to boil. Blair was acting totally innocent, the bastard. He could have showered, he at least could have done that. Although, Jim would have detected any unfamiliar soap scent on his skin.

So that meant that Blair had cheated, and didn’t care if Jim found out. No. Blair might not even be aware of the scent that clung to his skin. That didn’t make any difference though. Either way, he had cheated.

Jim rose from the sofa and followed Blair into his old room. “Where you been, Chief?” he asked.

“Nowhere, man,” Blair answered, pausing in the act of opening a dresser drawer. Jim could detect his heart beating faster, and could smell fresh sweat on him. But, above all else, he could still smell...it. And he erupted. He crossed the room, he grabbed Blair by the shirt, and he shoved him up against the wall.

“Liar!” he said, heart twisting in his chest. “I can smell him on you!”

“Him, who, what?” Blair panted, wide-eyed.

Jim took a deep whiff, and snarled, “You don’t wear Karl Lagerfeld for Men.”

Blair closed his eyes. “Let me go, Jim.”

Jim released him. Blair reached behind his back, pulled up two layers of shirts, and pulled out a small bottle from his waistband. Holding it up, he said angrily, “This was going to be your birthday present, man.”

Jim blinked. “Oh. Oh, hey, Chief.” He winced. “I’m really sorry. But, I smelled it on you, you know? And...geez. I’m sorry.”

Blair looked slightly mollified. “Well, I had to try it out on myself first, right? To see if it was something you would like, something that wouldn‘t drive you up the wall.”

“Something you could borrow?” Jim said with a small smile.

“Well,” Blair said noncommittally.

He smelled awfully good wrapped tight in Jim’s arms.

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 12th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starting-gate.livejournal.com
I can only comment of MFU, I know nothing of others.

I like it all babe! Whoa, like being in a time ship. Affair! Acts! Channel D! How the hell did you remember all that?

Partner, ha!; Portugeuse, LOL; Act IV, Love/Lust/LOL Perfect!

Thank you!

Sorry, apparent exclamation point problem!

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starting-gate.livejournal.com
No shit! Secret agents! So cool! *swoon*

I haven't seen the show, since it was on. I don't get TVLand or anything. Secret Agent Man, secret agent dolls, I had some kind of secret agent MUF spy stuff in a mini briefcase. And I still buy every MUF book I can get my grubby little paws on

You made me feel so good!
*sigh* Was it good for you too? *g*

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starting-gate.livejournal.com
I just noticed I got so excited I couldn't even 'spell' MFU.

What you do to me...

So, toss me a Kirk/Spock?? Five fimes Spock called him Jim, not Captain.

Hit me baby, one more time!!!!!!

::anticipation::

(Geez, first exclamation points! Now song lyrics) Memories... *bg*

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starting-gate.livejournal.com
I ♥ sid

woo effin' hoo!!!

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
Squee! You did Jim/Blair! And, silly, silly Jim; Blair's way too forgiving ::frowns sternly;:

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
No, it's okay; Blair's very good at empathising and he'd see how Jim could've thought what he did... I'm probably just putting myself in his shoes and I wouldn't be that forgiving ;-)

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
That you wanted to be adventurous! And it worked beautifully.

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delphia2000.livejournal.com
Oh AWESOME! What wonderful ficcys! Thanks so much for doing them, sid! You did great with all of the characterizations I think. I loved Ez lusting after Chris best of all. :o) The UNCLE affair was a total hoot! And jealous Jim...just too cute. If I was younger I'd squee like a fangirl hiding in the men's bathroom at a con. :oD

(I will not brag about owning 20+ UNCLE books plus that fantastic UK fan book with Illya on the cover. *giggles*)

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nangi-akki.livejournal.com
holy crap! you wrote MFU. woooohooooo!!
but you know my mind spends way too much time in the gutter coz when I read this:
Yes! Partner! That’s a safe word to use.
the first thing I thought was "No, Napoleon, 'partner' is too common - that wouldn't be a good safeword for you" :)

soooooo - are you still taking requests? I can think of all kinds of MFU prompts

(no subject)

Date: Sep. 13th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nangi-akki.livejournal.com
yeah, I know what you mean about bittorrent - I only downloaded it to get that MFU ep and it seemed like sheer luck that I actually got the thing to work.
here's a FAQ I found but some of it was still completely over my head.
http://www.afterdawn.com/guides/archive/bittorrent_faq.cfm
in the meantime here's another hot little snippet to inspire you - "Kaleidoscope" by Keelywolfe
http://www.ravenswing.com/~keelywolfe/kaleidoscope.html

now as for a 5 things prompt - hmmmm, how about
Five "not in the textbooks" Russian phrases that Illya has taught Napoleon.

(no subject)

Date: Jan. 5th, 2007 12:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com
We all know Jim has trust issues, of course he'd be way too fast to jump to the wrong conclusion.  ::rolls eyes at Jim::  But oh, I'm a fish for Jim and Blair and walls. That's all it takes for me. *g* Ya made me happy here...

M7!

Date: Oct. 9th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
omg you did M7 slash...sorta I LOVE IT!

(no subject)

Date: Dec. 28th, 2007 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
Oh, loved the M7 snippets! Great insights into them all.

(no subject)

Date: Dec. 28th, 2007 10:11 pm (UTC)

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