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sidEarly in Season One, so they're just good friends. Pre-slash if you want to look at it that way. ;-)
Jack has his own unique way of breaking bad news to Daniel.
About 750 words.
Jack has his own unique way of breaking bad news to Daniel.
About 750 words.
DON'T PANIC
Jack walked into Daniel's office and pulled up a chair. "Now, don't panic," he said as he seated himself.
"What!" Daniel exclaimed. "What's happened?"
"What did I just say?" Jack said, shaking his head.
"You said 'don't panic', and if you really didn't want me to panic," Daniel said, beginning to scowl, "there are a dozen better ways to begin a conversation."
Jack's eyebrows rose slightly. "Having a bad day?"
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Not especially, no."
"Ah! Time of the month?"
Daniel closed his eyes and sagged in his chair. "You do it on purpose, don't you? You'd think I would have learned by now." He opened his eyes and asked the ceiling, "Why haven't I learned by now?"
"I have no idea to what you are referring," Jack said solemnly. "We can't all be linguists, you know. Now to get back to the reason I'm here..."
"You're actually kind of cute," Daniel observed, head tilted to the side, regarding Jack with a small smirk.
Jack blinked and sat straighter in his chair. "Excuse me?"
Daniel lost the smirk. "I mean, the way you think you're so funny." Jack stared at him. "It's...cute," Daniel finished weakly.
Jack's face twitched. "You know, Daniel, you really shouldn't insult a guy who's about to do you a favor."
"What insult?" Daniel said. "How is 'cute' an insult?"
"If I ask you to just take my word for it, will you promise me not to go around calling any of the marines 'cute'?"
Daniel blinked several times. "Even if they are?" he asked with a straight face.
Jack leaned closer and put a hand on Daniel's arm. "Especially if they are."
Daniel gave a loud snort of laughter, and Jack sat back, eyes twinkling. "Now that the preliminaries are out of the way," Daniel said with a grin, "what is it I'm not supposed to panic about, and what's this favor you're going to do for me?"
Jack gave a short drum roll on the desk with his index fingers and looked at Daniel sideways. "General Hammond has ordered that all civilian personnel who go into the field need to pass the standard firearms proficiency test." Daniel's mouth opened a little, but nothing came out. "And, yes, this means you."
"Well, of course it means me! I'm the only civilian who goes through the 'Gate!"
"So far," Jack pointed out. "That's bound to change. This new requirement is being issued with an eye to the future."
"Oh, yes, right. So it's not just me," Daniel said with a hint of bitterness. He looked Jack in the eye. "Have there been complaints? Have you been complaining about me?"
"I have not," Jack said calmly. "I have answered truthfully when questions have been put to me regarding field readiness and performance for all of my team members."
Daniel flushed. "That bad, huh? You could have said something to me."
"Daniel, you're taking this the wrong way. Hey!" He tapped Daniel on the knee to get his attention. "You do great in the field, I mean that."
Daniel licked his lips. "For a civilian."
Jack shrugged. "That's what you are."
"And that makes me the weakest link. Do you think that I don't understand that?" Daniel's voice rose.
"Whoa! Come on!" Jack patted Daniel's shoulder. "Hey, let's be honest. In a firefight, you're probably always going to be the weakest link, no matter how much training you get. And that's not a reflection on you!" Jack waved an admonishing finger. "Bottom line, you're just not a soldier."
"It's never been one of my goals in life," Daniel said quietly.
"Yes, well, one of my immediate goals is going to be to get you to be a stronger link. It's important for the team, and it's safer for you, personally."
"It's not like I have any choice, is it?" Daniel said, sounding resigned.
"Nope," Jack said. "Listen. You've already shown me that you've got courage, and that you don't lose your head under fire." Daniel looked at him with wide eyes. "Everybody can improve their speed and accuracy, right?" Jack smiled encouragingly. "Right?" He gave Daniel a nudge.
"Right," Daniel said, grimacing. "So. Where do I go? When? Who do I report to?"
Jack rubbed his hands together. "See, this is where the favor comes in."
Daniel began to shake his head. "Oh, no. Don't tell me."
"I'm going to train you myself," Jack said with a smug smile.
"Jack!"
"Now, Daniel, don't panic!"
THE END
Jack walked into Daniel's office and pulled up a chair. "Now, don't panic," he said as he seated himself.
"What!" Daniel exclaimed. "What's happened?"
"What did I just say?" Jack said, shaking his head.
"You said 'don't panic', and if you really didn't want me to panic," Daniel said, beginning to scowl, "there are a dozen better ways to begin a conversation."
Jack's eyebrows rose slightly. "Having a bad day?"
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Not especially, no."
"Ah! Time of the month?"
Daniel closed his eyes and sagged in his chair. "You do it on purpose, don't you? You'd think I would have learned by now." He opened his eyes and asked the ceiling, "Why haven't I learned by now?"
"I have no idea to what you are referring," Jack said solemnly. "We can't all be linguists, you know. Now to get back to the reason I'm here..."
"You're actually kind of cute," Daniel observed, head tilted to the side, regarding Jack with a small smirk.
Jack blinked and sat straighter in his chair. "Excuse me?"
Daniel lost the smirk. "I mean, the way you think you're so funny." Jack stared at him. "It's...cute," Daniel finished weakly.
Jack's face twitched. "You know, Daniel, you really shouldn't insult a guy who's about to do you a favor."
"What insult?" Daniel said. "How is 'cute' an insult?"
"If I ask you to just take my word for it, will you promise me not to go around calling any of the marines 'cute'?"
Daniel blinked several times. "Even if they are?" he asked with a straight face.
Jack leaned closer and put a hand on Daniel's arm. "Especially if they are."
Daniel gave a loud snort of laughter, and Jack sat back, eyes twinkling. "Now that the preliminaries are out of the way," Daniel said with a grin, "what is it I'm not supposed to panic about, and what's this favor you're going to do for me?"
Jack gave a short drum roll on the desk with his index fingers and looked at Daniel sideways. "General Hammond has ordered that all civilian personnel who go into the field need to pass the standard firearms proficiency test." Daniel's mouth opened a little, but nothing came out. "And, yes, this means you."
"Well, of course it means me! I'm the only civilian who goes through the 'Gate!"
"So far," Jack pointed out. "That's bound to change. This new requirement is being issued with an eye to the future."
"Oh, yes, right. So it's not just me," Daniel said with a hint of bitterness. He looked Jack in the eye. "Have there been complaints? Have you been complaining about me?"
"I have not," Jack said calmly. "I have answered truthfully when questions have been put to me regarding field readiness and performance for all of my team members."
Daniel flushed. "That bad, huh? You could have said something to me."
"Daniel, you're taking this the wrong way. Hey!" He tapped Daniel on the knee to get his attention. "You do great in the field, I mean that."
Daniel licked his lips. "For a civilian."
Jack shrugged. "That's what you are."
"And that makes me the weakest link. Do you think that I don't understand that?" Daniel's voice rose.
"Whoa! Come on!" Jack patted Daniel's shoulder. "Hey, let's be honest. In a firefight, you're probably always going to be the weakest link, no matter how much training you get. And that's not a reflection on you!" Jack waved an admonishing finger. "Bottom line, you're just not a soldier."
"It's never been one of my goals in life," Daniel said quietly.
"Yes, well, one of my immediate goals is going to be to get you to be a stronger link. It's important for the team, and it's safer for you, personally."
"It's not like I have any choice, is it?" Daniel said, sounding resigned.
"Nope," Jack said. "Listen. You've already shown me that you've got courage, and that you don't lose your head under fire." Daniel looked at him with wide eyes. "Everybody can improve their speed and accuracy, right?" Jack smiled encouragingly. "Right?" He gave Daniel a nudge.
"Right," Daniel said, grimacing. "So. Where do I go? When? Who do I report to?"
Jack rubbed his hands together. "See, this is where the favor comes in."
Daniel began to shake his head. "Oh, no. Don't tell me."
"I'm going to train you myself," Jack said with a smug smile.
"Jack!"
"Now, Daniel, don't panic!"
THE END
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 21st, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)"Not funny, Daniel."
"I thought it was."
**************
No, seriously, very, very funny, and very, very perfect pitch for conversation between those two.
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 21st, 2011 06:41 pm (UTC)