Dear Santa: (stolen from delphia2000)

[sid]

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Starting_gate's Christmas party. It was JD_Junkie who spiked the punch with too much rye. I can't help it if I drank 14 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like burned toast.

I thought it was funny when I put delph's sweatshirt on my head and danced the cha cha on the settee while singing `Band on the Run'. I didn't mean to break Starting_gate's DVR and don't know why Starting_gate would sue me for aiding and abetting.

I don't remember calling Ronon Dex's wife a funky llama---even though she looked like one with cerise eye shadow and mauve lipstick!

And when I threw up on Flute's husband's big toe, it was only because I ate too much of that lobster.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my school bus through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a rancid zebra and have me arrested for crossing a state line!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and smooth. And I'm really not to blame for any of this ornate stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Sid (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 42 bucks! 


  

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Sam's's Christmas party. It was Teal'c who spiked the punch with too much absinthe. I can't help it if I drank 19 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like chicken.

I thought it was funny when I put Jack's's jockstrap on my head and danced the frug on the grandfather clock while singing `You Shook Me All Night Long'. I didn't mean to break Sam's's microwave oven and don't know why Sam's would sue me for treason.

I don't remember calling Siler's wife a lazy horse---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Captain Jorgenson's husband's ribcage, it was only because I ate too much of that seared tuna.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Jeep Cherokee through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a mutant platypus and have me arrested for violating DADT!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smarmy and feminized. And I'm really not to blame for any of this scholarly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and truculently yours,
Daniel Jackson (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only eleventyone! bucks!