Dear Santa: (stolen from delphia2000)

[sid]

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Starting_gate's Christmas party. It was JD_Junkie who spiked the punch with too much rye. I can't help it if I drank 14 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like burned toast.

I thought it was funny when I put delph's sweatshirt on my head and danced the cha cha on the settee while singing `Band on the Run'. I didn't mean to break Starting_gate's DVR and don't know why Starting_gate would sue me for aiding and abetting.

I don't remember calling Ronon Dex's wife a funky llama---even though she looked like one with cerise eye shadow and mauve lipstick!

And when I threw up on Flute's husband's big toe, it was only because I ate too much of that lobster.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my school bus through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a rancid zebra and have me arrested for crossing a state line!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and smooth. And I'm really not to blame for any of this ornate stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Sid (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 42 bucks! 


  

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Sam's's Christmas party. It was Teal'c who spiked the punch with too much absinthe. I can't help it if I drank 19 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like chicken.

I thought it was funny when I put Jack's's jockstrap on my head and danced the frug on the grandfather clock while singing `You Shook Me All Night Long'. I didn't mean to break Sam's's microwave oven and don't know why Sam's would sue me for treason.

I don't remember calling Siler's wife a lazy horse---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Captain Jorgenson's husband's ribcage, it was only because I ate too much of that seared tuna.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Jeep Cherokee through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a mutant platypus and have me arrested for violating DADT!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smarmy and feminized. And I'm really not to blame for any of this scholarly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and truculently yours,
Daniel Jackson (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only eleventyone! bucks!

 

 

Comments

[jd-junkie.livejournal.com]

Sheesh! You try to make the damn party go with a swing and whaddaya get? Blamed. That's what. Unjustly, utterly falsely and completely unfairly *hic* and now I must fall down ....
*it's starting_gate's fault for leaving the rye within easy reach::
And Daniel "smarmy and feminized" .... bwahahahahaha.
*passes out in corner*

[sid]

*tucks pillow under your head and wipes away the drool*

:-D

[starting-gate.livejournal.com]

It must have been a great party, 'cause I don't even remember it!

I saw this at nicci_mac's and just did mine. I love Daniel's, great idea! I'll do Jack's. :)

(It's been a long time since I've seen one as fun as this!)

[sid]

I had to restrain myself - I could have kept going and going and going!

Well, if you don't even remember the party then I guess the lawsuit is off, huh? *rubs hands gleefully*

[delphia2000.livejournal.com]

Thank apophis Daniel didn't put Teal'c's jock on his head...he might have lost his way in there. :oD I'd tell you how funny these are but your head might swell and stretch out my sweatshirt!

[sid]

Hee! We wouldn't want either of those things to happen!

[paian]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Daniel's Christmas party. It was Carter who spiked the punch with too much Mountain Dew. I can't help it if I drank zero glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like poo.

I thought it was funny when I put Teal'c's tutu on my head and danced the Funky Chicken on the ratty ottoman while singing `Santa Got Run Over by a Reindeer'. I didn't mean to break Daniel's vibrator and don't know why Daniel would sue me for double parking.

I don't remember calling Hank Landry's wife a bestial Shetland pony---even though she looked like one with peridot eye shadow and chartreuse lipstick!

And when I threw up on Doctor Brightman's husband's appendix, it was only because I ate too much of that Jell-O.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my big-ass truck through my neighbor's solarium. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a poopy three-toed sloth and have me arrested for jaywalking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all pwned and so pwned. And I'm really not to blame for any of this omg so totally pwned stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and totally yours,
Jack (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only bazillion bucks!

[sid]

Daniel's vibrator. *dies*

Makes me wonder what "double parking" means, in context. :-D

[paian]

You and me both!

[tejas.livejournal.com]

I love having such twisted people on my flist. :-)

[sid]

I know you're not looking at me when you say that. :-)

[tejas.livejournal.com]

*blink* *blink*

Would *I* do *that*????

:-)

[sid]

Certainly not! *pets you*

[tejas.livejournal.com]

*purrs*

Sid, my twisted lovely friend! :-)

[sid]

Why yes, I am lovely. *admires*

[tejas.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[sid]

I haven't changed a bit, you know. Not one bit!

[tejas.livejournal.com]

Yes, dear. :-)

(LOL!)

[spacemonkeyphd2.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO at both Jack and Daniel's letters. so funny it almost makes xmas worth it. :)

[sid]

Almost. Yep. *g*