'Duck Duck Goose', Dan/Cam, rated R
Jan. 2nd, 2008 10:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidThe veil of secrecy has finally been lifted! Here's my sg1_jubilee fic, written for fadedsouls. Her prompt was: Rubber ducks. And a napkin store that also has silver and yellow candles.
Thanks toor_mabinogi for inspiration and jd_junkie for beta-ing. Remind me never to write crack without you guys to help. :-)
sg1_jubilee fic, written for fadedsouls. Her prompt was: Rubber ducks. And a napkin store that also has silver and yellow candles.Thanks to
or_mabinogi for inspiration and jd_junkie for beta-ing. Remind me never to write crack without you guys to help. :-)DUCK DUCK GOOSE
Cam managed to catch Sam alone in the mess hall. He waved nonchalantly, poured himself a quick cup of coffee and moseyed over to her table. “Hey, Sam. Taking a break from wrestling with that alien battery charger?”
Cam managed to catch Sam alone in the mess hall. He waved nonchalantly, poured himself a quick cup of coffee and moseyed over to her table. “Hey, Sam. Taking a break from wrestling with that alien battery charger?”
“I keep telling you, it’s not a battery charger. And didn’t you get my email?”
“Email?” Cam pulled out a chair and sat down.
“With my progress report? Of which there isn’t any? So I’m taking a break?”
“Oh. Yeah, I think I remember seeing that in my inbox.”
Sam took a bite of her sandwich and looked Cam over carefully while she chewed.
Cam looked down at his chest, thinking he must have dribbled coffee. “What?”
“Just checking to see if it said ‘O’Neill’ anywhere on your uniform,” Sam said with a grin.
“Real funny.”
“I thought so,” Sam said smugly.
“So, anyway. You got a minute?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Well,” Cam said slowly, “I could use some advice.”
“Okay.”
“I’m seeing someone….”
“You are? That’s great! What’s her name?”
“Uh….” Cam froze as his mind went blank. “Giselle.”
“Her name is Giselle? That’s…unusual.”
Cam shrugged and cleared his throat. “So, anyway. What I wanted to ask you….”
“Whoa! Hey, I’d love to help you out, but I’m the last person you should be asking for relationship advice.” Sam winced.
Cam, having heard all about Pete, winced too. “It’s more romantic advice I was hoping for. I figure women are better at that sort of stuff.”
Sam looked at her sandwich like it might hold some answers. “I’ll do my best,” she offered weakly.
“Okay. Well, see, the thing is, Giselle’s mind tends to wander.”
Sam’s eyes got wide. “You mean during…?”
“Oh! No, not during. More before. Thinking about work and stuff like that. It’s really hard to get her to relax.”
“And pay attention to you?” Sam asked, smiling.
“Well,” Cam mumbled.
Sam nodded thoughtfully. “Studies show that men are better at compartmentalizing than women are, so Giselle’s preoccupation with her work isn’t all that unusual. A big romantic gesture could be just the thing she needs to get her to focus on the moment. And the man,” she teased.
“Thank you.” Cam smiled insincerely.
“Well,” Sam leaned closer, “I can tell you something that works, um, would work for me. A candlelit bubble bath.”
Cam’s trousers got tighter. “Sounds kinda girly,” he objected half-heartedly.
Sam’s eyes widened in amusement. “Hello! This is for Giselle, remember?”
“Yeah, well, I’ll be there, too!”
“Which is where that oversize bathtub of yours will come in handy. You’ll survive,” Sam said wryly. “It’s not that bad if you stop and think about it.”
Which is exactly what Cam was doing. Thinking about flickering lights on firm planes of damp skin and feathery trails of bubbles…. “So where do I get the candles?”
Sam laughed. “Practically anywhere. Grocery store, drug store. Bubblebath, too. And then there’s specialty stores at the malls. Hi, Teal’c!”
Cam looked over his shoulder and saw Teal’c approaching with three cartons of milk and an orange. Cam wasn’t sure if it was that combination that made him feel suddenly queasy or the realization that Sam was undoubtedly going to….
“Here’s the man to answer all your candle questions,” Sam said, grinning. “Teal’c, Colonel Mitchell needs our help. He’s got a romantic quandary.”
“Indeed? I will be most happy to assist you in whatever manner I may.” Teal’c inclined his head regally.
“Hey, wait a minute, did you already know he was seeing someone?”
“I have suspected it for some time,” Teal’c answered smoothly, causing Cam’s pulse to speed up. “What is the quandary?”
“What kind of candles should he get to put around his bathtub?”
Teal’c swung his gaze over to Cam, whose palms started to sweat a little. “Have you replaced the wallpaper?”
“What? No.” Some previous tenant had papered the bathroom walls in what must have been an attempt to brighten up the windowless room. Cam had hated it at first and sworn that he was going to rip it down or cover it up, but he’d gotten so used to it now that he barely noticed it any more.
“Then your candles should be yellow and silver, to match the wallpaper stripes,” Teal’c said, one eyebrow indicating that he was speaking the obvious.
“Okay, that lets out the drugstore/grocery store options. They wouldn’t carry those colors. So, the mall, no, wait. There’s a party supply store half a mile from where you live, on 7th,” Sam said triumphantly.
“Whoa, party supplies? This isn’t exactly a party I’m talkin’ about here.”
“Party for two,” Sam insisted. “And those places have everything. You know, matching plates and napkins with pumpkins for Halloween or, I don’t know, pink ponies for little girls’ birthday parties. Balloons, invitations. Streamers.”
“I’m not hanging streamers in my bathroom. The wallpaper is bad enough.”
“Do you require tapers, pillars or votives?” Teal’c asked.
Cam just stared.
~~~~
The girl at the party supply store figuratively took Cam by the hand and led him through the mysteries of candles. The silver color only came in tapers, so he got four of those with milk glass candlestick holders. “These will look great on your dining room table,” she said. Cam didn’t know how to tell her he didn’t have a dining room or a qualifying table.
“If this is a one-time occasion, you don’t want to be buying a pillar,” she told him. Cam hoped very much that this was not going to be a one-time event, so he picked out two yellow pillars of different heights. “Lemon crème,” she told him, holding one under his nose. Cam sniffed and shrugged. Better than something flowery and girly.
“Votives are perfect for scattering around in that careful haphazard effect,” she said. “And they’re quite safe to leave unattended for a while, since they’re encased in glass. Cam eyed the lemon crème votive candles, which were clearly not encased in glass. The clerk led him to the votive holders. “How many?”
Cam wound up with four clear glass votive cups and two frosted, six candles and two silver cutout containers to hold two of the clear cups. “See how nicely those go with your tapers?”
Cam looked at a few price tags and did some quick math. “Quite a racket you’ve got going here.”
The clerk was momentarily nonplussed, but she bounced back quickly. “And it’s been going on for centuries, from what I hear.”
On the way to the cash register, Cam’s eye was caught by a display. The clerk hovered, confused, as he examined the merchandise. “Those are for toddlers’ wading pool parties,” she finally said.
“I’ll take two,” Cam said, grinning.
As the girl totaled up the damage, Cam shifted from foot to foot, wondering if he should ask the question that was occurring to him.
“Will that be all?” she asked before hitting the final key on the register.
“Um, if you wouldn’t mind, I was wondering….”
Her polite smile grew into a hopeful grin.
“Could you recommend a brand of bubblebath that won’t clash with those candles?”
“Oh.” Her face fell. “Oh, sure. Well, there’s a Walgreen’s four blocks south of here, and you can probably find some unscented bubblebath there.”
“Thanks very much,” Cam said.
She rang up the total and Cam forked over some cash.
The clerk smiled at him wistfully as she handed him back his change. “Your sweetheart is going to love you.”
Cam picked up his bags and called over his shoulder as he walked away, “He already does.”
~~~~
“Call me before you leave your place.”
“What?”
“When you come over tonight, call me when you leave your place.”
“Oh, you’re up to something, aren’t you?”
“Nah. What makes you think that? Just call me.”
Cam’s cell rang. Daniel. “On your way?”
“What are you up to, Mitchell?”
“Nuthin’. See you in ten.”
Ten minutes was plenty of time to light the candles and run the bath, nice and hot and bubbly. Maybe a little too bubbly? Cam wondered as he undressed and got into a terrycloth robe. Since he had an extra deep, oversized tub, he’d doubled the recommendation on the bubblebath bottle. Maybe he should have done a dry run, so to speak, earlier.
Nah, that would just have made him feel silly, he mused as he placed two rubber ducks in the soap dish and hid them with a washcloth. Hearing Daniel’s key in the front door, Cam went to greet him.
Daniel’s back was turned as he locked the door behind himself. Cam slid his arms around Daniel’s waist and whispered into his ear, “I’m up to something.”
Daniel twisted his head around. “I never would have guessed.”
Cam grinned and freed Daniel. “Come on,” he said, offering a hand. Daniel took it, after a few seconds of suspicious looks, and Cam led him into the bathroom.
“Whoa!” Daniel exclaimed.
“What do you think?” Cam asked a little nervously.
“It’s a bubble bath.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Then I think I need to get these clothes off,” Daniel said, quirking an eyebrow.
“Good plan,” Cam said, relieved, untying the belt of his robe and shrugging it off his shoulders so that it pooled around his feet. As Daniel started to undress, Cam tested the water in the tub and then climbed in.
Daniel laid his glasses down next to the sink and perched on the side of the tub to take off his shoes and socks. “What made you come up with this idea?”
Cam trailed his hand through the bubbles. “It was Sam’s idea, actually,” he admitted.
Daniel froze. “Sam knows?”
“No! Geez, no! What do you take me for?”
“Well, I wondered for a minute,” Daniel said as he stood and unfastened his jeans.
Cam decided it would be much wiser not to mention even the possibility that Teal’c might be on to them. “No, she thinks you’re some girl named Giselle.”
“Giselle?”
“She had the same reaction.”
Daniel put one foot into the tub. “You a balletomane?”
“Am I what now?”
“Never mind.” Daniel slowly sank into the tub, sighing deeply and sending bubbles cascading. “Oh, that feels good.” He stretched out his legs and poked Cam in the stomach with his foot. “Sorry.”
Cam seized the foot before it could move away and started rubbing it, enjoying the slippery feeling.
Daniel sighed again, wriggling his toes. “So, Giselle?”
“Old lady down the hall,” Cam said.
“Is named Giselle?”
“No. Her cat is.”
Daniel squinted myopically at the array of candles. He flicked at the mass of bubbles, sending a dollop flying to land on Cam’s cheek. “If you expect me to purr, it’s going to take more than a few candles.”
Cam reached over to the soap dish and whisked off the washcloth.
Daniel stared. “Rubber ducks?”
“One each,” Cam said, tossing one to Daniel and giving the other a squeeze. QUACK!
Daniel lowered his duck into the tub and watched as it vanished into the bubbles. “We need a pond,” he said, and began clearing a patch of bathwater by pulling suds towards himself, where they clung to his chest and arms, shimmering in the candles’ glow.
Cam launched his duck across the pond towards Daniel. It soon bounced against Daniel’s duck, beak to beak. “Hey, look, they like each other!”
Daniel swirled the water and the ducks circled as though one was chasing the other. “Can’t tell which one’s Daffy and which one’s Donald any more,” he frowned.
“I’m guessing Daffy’s mine?” Cam said idly, just soaking in the warmth of the water and watching Daniel. And slowly getting hard.
“Of course,” Daniel said loftily as he pulled his legs up and settled a duck on each knee.
“We’ll have to draw glasses on one of them.”
QUACK!
Daniel snickered. “I think you just ruffled Donald’s feathers.”
“Hey, I’ve got nothing to play with over here,” Cam said piteously. “You’re hoarding the ducks.”
Daniel looked the ducks in the eye, swiveled them to look at each other and then turned them to face Cam. QUACK! QUACK!
Well, Cam had wanted to get Daniel relaxed, and although romance seemed to be sorely lacking he couldn’t really complain. Daniel in playful mode was something new and very pleasant to see. “If you’re keeping the ducks, the least you can do is give me something else to play with,” Cam hinted broadly.
Daniel thrust one foot out. Cam kneaded the arch, admonishing, “That wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” Daniel lowered the foot until his heel rested on Cam’s growing erection, and slowly slid it back and forth. “More like it,” Cam said, sliding his fingers along the slick skin of Daniel’s ankle.
Daniel bent his knees and scooted forward in the tub, leaning towards Cam. Anticipating a kiss, Cam leaned forward as well, reaching for Daniel. But instead of a kiss, he got a firm nudge to the left testicle and a watery, muffled QUACK. “Jackson!”
Daniel did a fine impression of an eel, twisting his body around, and soon he was slithering up alongside Cam, who turned onto his hip to make more room. They wound up face to face, and Cam blew away the bubbles that clung to Daniel’s shoulder and threatened to get up his nose. “Hey,” he said in greeting.
“Hey yourself.” Daniel kissed him, and Cam put his arm around Daniel’s waist, letting his hand glide blissfully over silky-smooth skin. Daniel slid a leg in between Cam’s. Cam murmured into Daniel’s mouth and thrust gently against his belly, closing his eyes, tasting Daniel and smelling lemon crème.
Daniel lifted his head and Cam looked up at him, licking his lips and smiling. This was more like it. Daniel smiled back, eyes crinkling up and sparkling mischievously.
And then Cam was yelping and splashing and inhaling bubbles and Daniel was roaring with laughter.
And an intrepid rubber duck was investigating the possibility of boldly going where no rubber duck had gone before.
QUACK!
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(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 04:58 am (UTC)QUACK!
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 05:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 06:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)The crack just wrote itself after that. ;-D
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed! :-)
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 12:35 pm (UTC)Ready when you are sid ....
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)Stand by!
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)QUACK!
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)QUACK!
(no subject)
Date: Jan. 4th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: Jan. 4th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)It's all thanks to Mabi and his vision: Cam wants romance but Daniel won't stop playing with his duckie. LOL!