A Jack/Daniel Valentine, NC-17

[sid]

Season One.  ~1350 words.  First time.  Not romance, but simple need.

 

FEBRUARY 14TH

“You look freaked.” Jack halted in the doorway of Daniel’s office.

 

“Yeah, I kind of am.” Daniel was staring down at something on his desk.

 

“Because why?” Jack asked, entering.

 

“Someone sent me a valentine,” Daniel answered, holding up a red envelope.

 

“’Someone’?”

 

Daniel looked up at him.

 

“Open. It.”

 

“I’m not sure I want to know,” Daniel said, looking at the envelope and drawing in one side of his mouth.

 

“Give it to me.” Jack held out his hand, waggling his fingers imperiously.

 

Daniel frowned, but handed it over.

 

Jack raised the flap and pulled out the card. He smiled. “Cute,” he said, turning the card for Daniel to see the teddy bears.

 

Daniel scrunched up his face. “What’s it say?”

 

Jack opened it. “‘I can’t bear it; please be mine.’”

 

“Who’s it from?”

 

“Fraiser.”

 

“Janet?” Daniel looked surprised, then relieved, then worried.

 

“She sent me one, too,” Jack told him.

 

“Oh!”

 

“It’s just a valentine, Daniel. Relax.”

 

“I just didn’t… it’s not like… okay, I just wasn’t expecting….”

 

“Sure. I hear you,” Jack said gently. Guy with a missing wife didn’t anticipate hearts and flowers on Valentine’s Day. “Guess you don’t have any big plans for tonight, either.”

 

“Uh, no.” Daniel grimaced. “Not even little plans.”

 

“Same here,” Jack said. “Wanna come over? I rented a bunch of movies. We’ll get a pizza or something.”

 

“Um. Yeah, okay.” Daniel sounded surprised, and Jack didn’t think it was the invitation that was surprising him. Guy hadn’t realized how little he’d wanted to be alone tonight. Jack, on the other hand, knew exactly how much he didn’t want to be alone for the second Valentine’s Day in a row.

 

“Bring your stuff and crash.”

 

Daniel flashed one of his ‘here-and-gone’ grins. “I take it there will be alcohol involved.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Jack promised, smiling.

 

~~~~

 

As usual, Daniel and alcohol didn’t mix. Or mixed very well. However you wanted to look at it.

 

“I miss her so much. Everything about her, but… it’s selfish.”

 

“What is?” Jack took another deep swallow of beer.

 

“You’ve heard of skin hunger?”

 

“Heard of it. Felt it. Yeah.”

 

Daniel scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Of course you have. I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey,” Jack admonished. They’d established, back when Daniel was living here, that they didn’t compare notes on who had it worse off. Both their situations sucked in ways that the general population couldn’t even begin to understand. In the beginning, it was practically all they’d had in common, that and the first mission to Abydos.

 

“Right.” Daniel grimaced.

 

“You miss holding her.”

 

“Oh, among other things.” Daniel laughed, and it was painful to hear. His beer bottle missed the coaster as he set it down and nearly tipped.

 

They both grabbed for it at the same time, and Jack’s hand wound up around Daniel’s.

 

“Oops,” Daniel said. “Got it, thanks.”

 

Daniel let go of the beer bottle, but Jack didn’t let go of his hand. “You need skin-on-skin,” Jack said.

 

Daniel flexed his fingers as if testing Jack’s grip. “I can’t exactly date, and if you’re suggesting a hooker, I’m not…,” he made a choking sound, “not quite to that point.”

 

“No,” Jack said as he released Daniel’s hand. “But there’s me.”

 

Daniel blinked at him. “What?”

 

“You don’t have to stay in the guest room.”

 

“Jack.” Daniel’s mouth hung open in a way that Jack couldn’t help but find cute.

 

“Skin’s all I’m offering.”

 

“Oh.” Daniel sighed. “For both of us.”

 

“Whatever, yeah. Just skin.”

 

Daniel leaned his head back on the couch. “Oh, Jack. That sounds so….”

 

“I’m offering. Or asking. Whichever one….”

 

Daniel stood up shakily. “Okay.”

 

~~~~

 

They were naked, together in Jack’s bed. Daniel was lying on his side and Jack was spooned up behind him. His arm wrapped around Daniel and Daniel’s fingers wrapped around his hand.

 

It felt easy and warm and comfortable and right.

 

And when Daniel sobbed and turned and burrowed in against his neck, that felt right, too, so Jack held him tightly and rubbed his back and didn’t even try to fight the arousal that he’d begun to feel even before Daniel’s soft cock had nestled in next to his. When he felt Daniel’s teeth against his shoulder, he let his stroking hand slide down over the curve of Daniel’s buttock.

 

Daniel moaned and moved against him.

 

“You want to?” Jack asked, very low.

 

“I’d give anything,” Daniel said, tears in his voice.

 

Jack slid his hand quickly up to the small of Daniel’s back. “Of course you would,” he said soothingly. “What are we talking about again?”

 

“Sex,” Daniel answered, sounding surprised. “Aren’t we?”

 

“I was. I thought you might be changing the subject.”

 

“Oh.” Daniel sniffed loudly. “No. No.” He burrowed into Jack’s shoulder, muffling his next words. “I’d give anything to feel that way.”

 

Jack exhaled. “Yeah. Me, too.”

 

Daniel raised his head and peered at Jack. “Yes, I want to. And tomorrow I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“We can pretend it never happened, if that’s what you want,” Jack agreed readily.

 

Daniel stroked Jack’s chest, looking thoughtful. “No, I don’t think we need to go that far,” he finally answered.

 

“I don’t want you kicking yourself,” Jack said, even as his body reacted to Daniel’s touch.

 

“I kick myself every day, Jack. This is nothing.”

 

Jack tightened his arms, wincing in empathy.

 

“I can be pragmatic when I need to,” Daniel added. “This will be okay.”

 

“Okay.” Jack cleared his throat. “Better than okay, if we’re lucky.” He waggled his eyebrows.

 

Daniel smiled, slow and surprisingly nasty. “Here’s hoping.” He wriggled against Jack.

 

Jack grunted. “Top? Bottom? Sides?”

 

“All of the above?” Daniel shifted his weight and pushed at Jack’s shoulder.

 

Jack let himself roll. Daniel followed. Jack reached between their bodies and found Daniel’s cock, hard and thick and still not fully erect. He lined it up against his own cock, warmth against warmth, and Daniel moved above him, thrusting. Jack placed his palms against Daniel’s smooth chest, rubbing at his nipples. Daniel’s upper body undulated, and Jack felt his breath catch.

 

“Um, wider,” Daniel said, and Jack spread his legs and Daniel adjusted his angle, and now Jack’s balls were being rubbed with every stroke.

 

“Mmm. Like that.”

 

“Good.”

 

“My turn?”

 

Daniel sank his full body weight onto Jack, clutching his shoulders and groaning. Jack felt wet tongue drag up his throat. He reached around to give Daniel’s butt a good squeeze.

 

“Sides first,” Daniel said, pushing himself away.

 

Jack rolled onto his side and Daniel threw a leg across his, pulling him in close.

 

“Move,” Daniel said, and Jack felt a hand between them, a warm touch, a light pressure against his balls as he began to rock against Daniel’s wide-open crotch. Daniel’s breath kissed his cheek, and Jack shivered and let his nails scratch a slow path up Daniel’s back. Daniel gasped. “Harder.”

 

Jack assumed he didn’t mean the thing with the nails, so he gripped Daniel’s butt cheek fiercely instead and rutted against him more forcefully.

 

“So… good.” The words sounded torn out of Daniel. Forced out, fucked out.

 

“Gotta finish,” Jack panted. “Roll….”

 

Daniel was already rolling, spreading, reaching for Jack. “Hurry! God, Jack.” Daniel pulled him into place. “Fuck!”

 

Command, observation, curse. Action verb.

 

Jack fucked. His cock slid over the skin of Daniel’s belly, along the side of Daniel’s cock. Daniel’s fingers were digging into his shoulders, Daniel’s teeth were digging into his own lip. Daniel’s eyes stared at him unseeingly. Daniel’s neck arched. “Nearly!”

 

Jack dropped to an elbow and got his other hand between them and his fingers beneath Daniel’s cock, his thumb pressing and releasing the head as he continued to drive against Daniel. 

 

When Daniel cried out, Jack’s balls squeezed tight. When Daniel came, Jack trembled from head to foot. When Daniel moaned his name, Jack growled low in his throat.

 

When Jack came, Daniel wrapped him tightly with his arms and legs, and they stayed that way, pressed against each other, heartbeats slowing as they drifted towards sleep, drinking in each other’s sweat through their pores, skin on skin on skin on skin on skin on skin on skin….

Comments

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

omg yes. this is so plausible, to me. i love this. gorgeous. the touching on the beer bottle; very clever.

great terse jack voice.

will reread. guh. it hurts so good and they are indeed orphans from the storm and i'm so glad they have each other. i'll be pondering how it went on from here.

THANK YOU.

[sid]

Orphans from the storm - YES. That's a lovely way of putting it. With instinctive need pulling them to each other. I'm glad it is plausible for you - Season One sex is a minefield.

[discodiva76.livejournal.com]

Oooooooooo *pets hurty boys*.......I think this is rather nice for Valentines.....it's been a change not to have an overdose of "fluff", but some really deep, and wonderfully crafted explorations into the darker, and more troubled side of our guys.....

Thank you....it's been a pleasure reading it..


Deeds xx

[sid]

I like fluff and I like angst, and each has their place. Season One requires angst galore, but Valentine's Day rolls around no matter what's going on in a person's life. I'm very glad you liked this look at early J/D. :-)

[chattycatsmeow.livejournal.com]

Oh yes - that is exactly how it could have gone. Each of them anxious, hurting, needful, and finding solace with each other. Very well done.

[sid]

Thank you. As usual, I've forgotten where the idea came from! I'm so glad you liked it.

[djaddict.livejournal.com]

Gawd! Skin hunger always gets me.
Very, very nice.

[sid]

The one hunger they can actually both sate, when everything else they hunger for is out of reach. *pets them*

Thank you!

[charmedstrange1.livejournal.com]

Oh, so good and visceral and... and basic. Yeah. I can't believe Jack's bravery, with the offer, and then both of them for being brave enough to just take and get what they need. So far from where we want them to be, and yet at least they have each other. Just lovely, in a hurty way.

[sid]

Basic, yes. Basic needs, going unmet. And meeting those needs only improves things a little bit for a little while... but it's a start.

I think it only worked for them because they each knew that the other's need was as great as their own. They were able to be generous and needy at one and the same time, which helped them be brave.

[mornincamper.livejournal.com]

oh.
The verbal back and forth, the commands and comments and "action verbs"...just so "real".
This was way hot in a deep, visceral way.
Better than chocolate! Happy ♥ day, indeed.

[sid]

Better than chocolate?? \o/

I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

Oh God.

I so utterly love that level of skin hunger- for Daniel, of course, but for Jack, too, and I so believe Jack's desperate desire to give Daniel something he needs- I completely believe that that's the tipping point in the complex mess of emotions going on here.

[sid]

*nods* Jack would never ask for himself. I think he thinks he 'wants', not 'needs'. And probably doesn't deserve. But he sees Daniel's situation differently.

And he's wise enough to open up enough to give Daniel the option of thinking of it as giving rather than taking, if that's what's necessary to allow Daniel to act.

[perfica.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. This brings back memories of watching the first season and falling in love with them. Thank you!

[sid]

Man, it's one of the greatest things about fanfic. We can move forwards and back in time as we please. We can change the past and predict the future.

I love writing Season One.

[avidrosette.livejournal.com]

Very nice - you make their desperation for touch as well as their affection for each other so visceral.

Love this: "Command, observation, curse. Action verb." And also love the breathless, broken voices you create here, the way their dialog is reduced to the essentials of need: "That sounds so....", "I'd give anything", "Move."

[sid]

They just don't need to finish their sentences with each other. Which is definitely to their advantage here, where they're both holding back so much, even when their mutual vulnerability is clearly a given.

I'm so glad you enjoyed. :-)

[lokei.livejournal.com]

Oh, nicely done. I love the strangely simple and easy way they deal with how well they understand each other already--I doubt it will stay all that easy, but it's both painful and good to see the way they find something comfortable inside all that hurt.

[sid]

The trust, the common ground and common cause, the broken hearts... yes, they understand each other on a lot of levels. And they'll always have that, even when they're on opposite sides of an issue and struggling to remember 'what did I ever see in this bastard?'

[helenkacan.livejournal.com]

In the sea of uber-fluff today, there's nothing wrong with having something so realistic as this.

I love the way you paired their neediness with the flippant, as in:

Jack grunted. “Top? Bottom? Sides?”

“All of the above?”

And, OMG, how could two little words affect me so much (... skin on skin on skin on skin on skin on skin on skin….)?

Once again, to get back to the harsh realities of life, the lucky ones have lovers/partners, the rest have skin hunger, because assuaging it is not considered to be a necessity of life. Perhaps I'm being a bit too profound today, but that's how I see this story, as one act of isolated kindness in a sea of indifference.

Thank you for the beautiful and generous offer from Jack. And Daniel's acceptance of it.

[sid]

Lovely feedback, thank you.

It's true, it must seem to them both that the world goes on around them, uncaring, while they suffer in silence.

Eeee, I'm thrilled that those two words had that effect on you! I get a shiver every time I read them. Every inch of skin, every skin cell, all alive and filling with bliss. *sighs deeply*

[autumnxchild.livejournal.com]

I love this - it's the perfect re-introduction into Jack and Daniel for someone who has been away for so long. Thank you.

[sid]

I'm so very happy to hear that. :-)

[lolmac]

Oh, this is marvelous. Touch-starvation is such an essential. I especially loved:
Command, observation, curse. Action verb.

And the final tag -- just beautiful. Amazing writing!

[sid]

Thank you very much! :-)

This is one of those stories that virtually write themselves, although I did stare at the monitor helplessly one or two times. *g* The line you've quoted just sprang into my head, and I actually worried about it being a bit too strange. But people like it! \o/

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Oh, my heart. That hurt so good. How very beautiful. Wow.

Wow.

[sid]

*pets you* They're beautiful when they're caring for each other... and finding each other.

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

Poor boys. I'm very glad they have each other.

[sid]

Yes, they do, and as our icons prove: happier days are ahead!

[stagnation13.livejournal.com]

And it started with a goofy Valentine from Janet.

Love how they are so into one another so fast and so easily...

“We can pretend it never happened, if that’s what you want,” Jack agreed readily.

Daniel stroked Jack’s chest, looking thoughtful. “No, I don’t think we need to go that far,” he finally answered.

Mehhehehe. Nice. Nope, neither of them will EVER forget this moment.

This was great...thanks!

[sid]

That's right - the night will be unforgettable! I'm glad you enjoyed. :-)

[gatewhale.livejournal.com]

now that's a perfect way to spend a 14th of feb day :D

[sid]

Even if they wish it were just another date on the calendar, yup! They found a good way to spend it, and just the right person to spend it with. :-)

[madaboutdanny.livejournal.com]

Can I be the only one to find a little wrong your story? I'm not a real slasher but I love J/D and so I read J/D slash too, a lot of them...but I have a really hard time to believe in that scene in season one. To me Daniel was deeply in love with Sha're at that time, and I don't think he could/would find release with Jack or Teal'c or Sam, I can see him with a whore because that is impersonal, detached, just a stress release, a need to be satisfy, and not a betrayal which it could be, for Daniel in my mind, with Jack. I hope to be clear enough, because my english is not so good when I have to write what I think and not just silly stuff...

[sid]

Hi! Your English is just fine, and I think I know just what you're saying.

Yes, Daniel is deeply in love with his wife and desperate to find her. I believe that if Jack had offered to have sex with him, Daniel would have walked away. But Jack offered naked cuddling and sleeping, and one thing led to another. Daniel didn't set out to betray Sha're, but ultimately the emotional desire to feel the physical pleasure he used to find when he made love with her was overwhelming - and that's when he turned to Jack with a sob.

It is a betrayal, and Daniel knows that. But it doesn't change his love for Sha're one little bit - he still wants her back with all his heart. So he decided he can live with it.

We don't have to agree! It's very interesting to examine stories from different directions. :-)

[msbeata.livejournal.com]

That was powerfully good.

In a really hot way!

[sid]

I waffled over including the sex. Silly me! There was a place for it in the story, and my flist always approves. ;-)

Thanks!

[jd-junkie.livejournal.com]

Wonderful stuff. A perfect illustration of the need Daniel would feel at the point. And he would only go to/get that from Jack because of their friendship and trust.
It doesn't take way from or negate his feelings for Sha'uri, it just is what it is.
And it's beautiful. :-)

[sid]

I wonder if Jack has been filling his needs somewhere else? Maybe not - he might be punishing himself. But here, with the opportunity to help Daniel, he can allow himself to find comfort, too.

Thank you, baby.

[bluemeridian]

Oh this is excellent! I love how, ultimately, it's so simple.

“I can be pragmatic when I need to,” Daniel added. “This will be okay.”

“Okay.” Jack cleared his throat. “Better than okay, if we’re lucky.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Daniel smiled, slow and surprisingly nasty. “Here’s hoping.” He wriggled against Jack.

♥

[sid]

I think this is simple, compared to the rest of their lives. And I think they'll both feel stronger for it. :-)

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, this so feeds into my personal view of them from CotG--that they are the only ones who really get each other on that "missing loved ones" level, and the only ones with whom they could let down their barriers and do something like this with. At this point in time? It's pragmatic. After s3, it could actually go somewhere permanent. Beautifully depicted.

[sid]

Thank you! I love Season One with all the undercurrents and the growing bond between Jack and Daniel.

Hmm, I could see the guilt finally kicking in after Sha're's gone, you know? I could see a little bit of a rift developing. But in the end, well, it's destiny.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Very nice, but sad, in a way.

[sid]

A very sad situation they both find themselves in, but they can find some comfort with each other at least. *pets them*

[starting-gate.livejournal.com]

I love it when they get together in the early seasons. In spite of everything in their way, they're drawn together -- just like this. Lovely.

As usual, Daniel and alcohol didn't mix. Or mixed very well. However you wanted to look at it.

*loves*

[sid]

They have so much need in the early going. *pets them*

Glad you liked those particular lines! Me, too. *g*

[crowsinflight.livejournal.com]

Ugh! *gaps like a fish...* Wow... Perfection...um ...wow...Did I say that before?

By the way I will bake the special brownies for anyone who will make me pretty shiny J&D icons. *is drooling over all the pretty shinies*

[sid]

Icons are the mostest fun! And very worth drooling over.

So glad you enjoyed the story. :-)