A gen crack!fic by Ivorygates and Sid

What you need to know is that a screencap of Jonas Quinn's Season 6 office shows a teddy bear on a high shelf. Which Daniel Jackson gave to Airman Wells when he and his wife had a baby in Season 7's "Heroes".

In conversation with Ivorygates:

Sid: Perhaps it could be an alien bear, given to Daniel as a gift for saving a planet!

IG: I admit I am charmed by the notion of aliens giving large stuffed animals as gestures of gratitude.

Sid: I suppose if it were Jonas's, Daniel would have no reason to get rid of it unless he had some childhood Stuffed Toy Trauma driving him.

IG: *shoves plotbunny in your direction*

Sid: I smell crack!fic...

STUFFED AND MOUNTED
by
sid and ivorygates

{ANNOUNCER VOICE}

NEXT WEEK, ON STARGATE: SG-1!

When an offworld ritual to honor his team by the gifting of large stuffed animals triggers a traumatic emotional flashback in DOCTOR DANIEL JACKSON, can COLONEL JACK O'NEILL and THE REST OF SG-1 save the young archaeologist in time...?

Carter: You know I only played with Major Matt Mason!

O'Neill: I was more of a Tonka trucks guy, myself.

Jackson: *weeps hysterically*

Teal'c: *Jaffa eyebrow of confusion*

Teal'c: O'Neill, I believe Danieljackson's only hope is an ancient Jaffa ritual known as Bobzyer'unkl. But it is very dangerous...

O'Neill: Daniel's my friend, Teal'c! You know I'll do anything to save him. What does this Monkey's Uncle thing involve...?

Teal'c: It involves standing on one's head.

O'Neill and Carter: *look at each other*

Carter: How is that dangerous?

Teal'c: If one's symbiote becomes dizzy, one's health may be severely impaired.

O'Neill and Carter: *look at each other again*

Jackson: *hiccups loudly*

O'Neill: Okaaay. Moving on. Any other suggestions?

Teal'c: *sulks*

Jackson: I never could do headstands. *resumes weeping*

Carter: Sir! I might have an idea!

O'Neill: Now's the time, Carter.

Carter: If I'm right, and Daniel is experiencing the effects of a deep-seated phobia or trauma, then graduated exposure therapy might help break the cycle! It's a type of behavior therapy used to help effectively overcome phobias and other anxiety disorders, a form of counter conditioning developed by--

O'Neill: Carter!

Carter: Yes, sir. Basically, if we expose Daniel to a very small amount of what triggered the initial condition, he might be able to break out of it.

O'Neill: So all we have to do is find a My Little Pony?

Carter [digs in pack]: I carry a Beanie Baby with me at all times, sir.

O'Neill: Is that a...moose?

Carter: *nodding* Named "Chocolate"

O'Neill: *snorts*

Jackson: *sniffles and licks lips*

Teal'c: Is that a...pun?

O'Neill: A play on words.

Jackson: It's the same thing, Jack. *holds out one hand, dashing away tears with the other*

Teal'c: Daniel Jackson is very fond of that dessert. I have seen him eat it often.

Carter: *hands beanie over cautiously*

Jackson: *accepts gingerly*

O'Neill: My congratulations, Doctor Carter. I predict a rapid recovery for the patient.

Carter [a little embarrassed]: Thank you, sir.

Jackson [clutching Beanie Baby]: Thanks, Sam. [Gets unsteadily to his feet]

Teal'c: [Smirks oracularly]

O'Neill: Okeydokey then! Come on, kids, let's go home. [beat] Anybody want to stop at "Toys-R-Us" after work?

THE END
(for now!)