'See You Soon', J/D, (Endgame episode related)

[sid]

For the jackdanielpromptfic May 2014 Episode of the Month prompt: Endgame.

Rated PG, ~430 words.

Jack had been feeling less and less of a man as time went on. He'd had no real concept before this promotion of how much of his identity (post-Charlie; post-husband and father) had been tied up in being the leader of SG-1. Now he sat on the sidelines, while paradoxically being more important than ever before. He watched as his team (all the teams; all his now, God help everyone) walked through the Stargate time after time after time, headed into danger and peril and the mysterious unknown.

Mostly they came back. Generals since the dawn of military history had known the pain of loss and the burden of command.

But they hadn't had the fate of the galaxy in their hands. Who the hell was Jack O'Neill to have that kind of power?

Jack O'Neill was an old man with bad knees who couldn't ever begin to fill the shoes of one George Hammond, that's who.

"Just give him a little more time," Jack said, clenching his fist. Was it the right choice? Made for the right reasons? Or solely based on the whatever-it-was that he had with Daniel that had left him with this feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach ever since Daniel beamed up to Osiris' ship.

"General. I recommend we open fire immediately.

"General, please advise."

Carter was there, too. The thought of losing them both was unbearable. All of this was unbearable. Dead Jaffa who might have become free Jaffa should be unbearable, but he had no real choice, and if he fried in Hell for it, well, he was already headed that way.

"You have your orders. Hold your fire."

See you soon. Daniel, looking at him earnestly, saying those words, disappearing.

God, Daniel. God. Please, God.

"General O'Neill? They are powering up their hyperdrive. We are out of options."

Do it, Daniel. Come back. Bring Carter with you. Don't…don't leave me here.

"Wait," he managed to say, somehow. He would give them every chance he could. If they were still alive… In Daniel's case, maybe even if he wasn't…

"General O'Neill. It looks like you were right. We have the gate and SG-1 aboard. They are alive."

He should feel relief. He should feel happiness. He felt like throwing up.

Earth was back in business. Hundreds of thousands of Jaffa might die at the hands of the Trust, but Jack didn't want to think about that right now. He'd fulfilled his mandate. His team was coming home.

See you soon.

Jack closed his eyes. Soon, Daniel.

Hurry.

Comments

[annejack]

I just watched that recently and you gave us such a spot-on glimpse into Jack's mind. I wanna hug him so bad :(

[sid]

He was in such a horrible, horrible, position. He needs All The Hugs.

[antares_dw]

*sigh* Jack is so unhappy - and if someone hates to be "an old man with bad knees" it must be him. Because otherwise he could perhaps be still part of the team and not the one waiting for their return.

Very nice look into Jack's thoughts!



(And I'm sure Daniel hurries back *g*)

[sid]

Such a hard time for Jack. I can totally see where Washington held some attraction for him in comparison.

Thank you! (Daniel definitely hurried back.)

[freyasboy]

Ohhhhh, that is soooooo good, Sid. Makes me want to give Jack a big hug to assure him everything's okay.

Thanks.

Chris xx

[sid]

I expect Daniel gives him that big hug in our place, and Jack knows everything's okay...until the next time!

[discodiva76]

I think this episode highlighted perfectly the turmoil that went through Jack's mind about taking the job....Being "The Man" did not sit well....but his face and those two words "tough choice" at the end made such an impact on me, more so than that letter of resignation during Zero Hour thing a few eppys before....This REALLY conveyed to me how Jack missed being with his team mates in their hour of danger rather than being almost useless zillions of miles away...


And this fic sums up that look on his face perfectly...


Brilliant!


xoxoxoxo

[sid]

RDA really brought it with the facial expressions that showed Jack's hidden inner turmoil.

Thanks!

[jdjunkie]

This ep is why I really, really hope that Jack is enjoying his retirement with Daniel, two dogs and a small fishing boat.

I think you've nailed the Jack we see on-screen in Endgame. It's kind of painful to watch. But this fic is the start of making it better. Nice work, baby. :-)

::I'm working on an Endgame fic as we speak! great minds, my friend! (and great promptficcing comm, too!::

[sid]

Boat, dogs, Daniel = Jack!heaven-on-earth. We declare it SO! *fist bump*

[green_grrl]

/o\ This ep HURTS! Jack should never have to make these kinds of decisions, and he's had to all too often.

[sid]

It's so different from making decisions on the fly in the field. Jack is capable of making the decisions he has to, but it all takes such a huge toll. :-(

[paian]

Such a welcome look into Jack's headspace during those absolutely brutal minutes.

My favorite line is He should feel relief. He should feel happiness. He felt like throwing up. I also love that single-word touch of desperation for Daniel at the end; although he has a deeply ingrained reliance on Daniel-his-life-partner-and-other-half, I don't think he consciously thinks things like that very often, so it shows how hard on him this really was, and how much psychological fallout he knows he's in for.

Yowwwwwwwch! In other words: Great job. :-)

And a million thanks for filling the prompt!!

[sid]

I hadn't revisited this episode in ages. I remember a lot of discussion when it first aired about just what Jack meant when he said, "Tough choice." To me it always was an admonishment that meant that it had been the easiest of choices: Team first, always, wherever there was still a breath of hope.

But oh, the agony of waiting for news, of second-guessing himself, of seeing the entire program circling the drain...

Glad you liked! :-)

[magickmoons]

This is an amazing look at Jack. I've always thought that the transition to general/base commander must have been quite difficult for him.

[sid]

Oh, incredibly difficult! It had to be. Ultimately he did well at it, but the toll must have been heavy.